The £2k a year energy bill is coming!
By 2016, we’ll probably all be dead. If we’re not, we’ll wish we were. The reason? By then, fuel bills will probably have risen by 60% and we’ll be paying an average of around £2,000 a year just to be able to keep warm and have a bit of light. Grim.
The average annual fuel bill right now is £1,247 but a study by the doom merchants at Ofgem predicts that in seven years time, it will be £1,995. That’s probably almost as TV’s sexy consumer duchess Anne Robinson spends on hairstyles in a month.
Mark Todd, a director of Energyhelpline, the switching service, said: "A rise of 60 percent is credible, unfortunately, especially for electricity. A lot of generating plant is about to be replaced with greener technology." Yeah, he’s right. We , the humble consumer should have to pay for all of that new technology because none of the energy suppliers have been making any money; in fact most of them just about breaking even. OH NO, HANG ON, THEY’VE ACTUALLY BEEN MAKING GARGANTUAN PROFITS! The steaming bastards.
So, there you go folks. In a nutshell, you’re going to need to think of a few sly ways of keeping warm by 2016. Any thoughts? We’re going to breed glowworms for light and for heat we'll invest in a few hundred sheepskin rugs and fashion a range of all-over body suits out of them. How about you?