Parasites found in North West's water

Parasites have been found in the drinking water of some homes in North West England, which has seen everyone being advised to boil all water before consuming it. Now, seeing as everyone in the North West doesn't drink anything that isn't tea or booze, very few people are worried.

So what's going on? Well, traces of the parasite Cryptosporidium have been found during routine tests of waterworks in Preston.

What does it do? Well, it can give you really bad stomach ache, and make you puke and have spectacular diarrhoea. If you're in need of a sickie from work and you live in Adlington, now's your chance.

United Utilities have been warning people in Preston, Chorely, Blackpool, South Ribble, Fylde and Wyre to get their water boiled if they're going to drink it, and this warning is expected to last until Friday. If you have old relatives up there, you might want to give them a ring, as they may have missed the news.

It is safe to wash your clothes and shower in this water, so don't worry - this isn't the plague or anything.

Martin Padley, the chief scientific officer for United Utilities, said: "We apologise for the inconvenience but the health of our customers is absolutely paramount."