British Gas: ‘It was the cold weather what did it – honest, guv’.
British Gas has announced an 11% rise in profits in winter 2012, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they put the prices up just before Christmas.
Despite the fact that most of us can barely afford a pot to piss in, British Gas made £606m out of domestic households last year, which they attribute to freezing temperatures and increased demand. Oh yeah, and er, British Gas also raised electricity prices by 6% in November.
Centrica, which owns British Gas, reported a profit of £2.7bn for 2012, up 14% from last year.
But Sam Laidlaw, Centrica’s chief executive, stressed it was "lower than any of our competitors" - as he ate caviar out of the belly button of a concubine.
USwitch spokeswoman Ann Robinson (no, not that one) said: "Seven out of 10 of us actually went without heating at some point during this winter and over a third of us have reported that we feel it's actually affected the quality of our life and also our health. I think customers will be wondering why on earth British Gas had to take this move in November when they are making such high profits."
But it wasn’t just British Gas who put up prices. Let’s wrap ourselves in hypothermia blankets and take a look at this graph (as nicked from the BBC), shall we? Hmm. Perhaps we could heat our hovels using sheer, unadulterated ANGER?