British Gas introduce new gizmo that will alienate the poor
People, it’s almost 2010 and anything is possible. We now know this for a FACT because British Gas are offering their customers the opportunity to pay their bills according to the amount of energy that they’ve actually USED instead of a wacky estimate that someone somewhere has made up. Can you imagine that?
It’s all possible with the help of a new service called EnergySmart which incorporates the use of a little monitor gizmo that plugs into your meter. This will allow you to read your meter, analyse your bills, monitor your CO2 something-or-other and rate your farts by using a system incorporating the names of British Prime Ministers and the lengths of their terms in office to signify the fart-strength. For example, a weak, odourless fart would be a Jim Callahan while a rasping lingerer would be a Margaret Thatcher.
British Gas say: “Instead of issuing you with a bill we will contact you by email or text and ask you to submit a reading from the normal meter. Estimated bills were seen as a source of frustration by customers as they didn't accurately reflect the energy they had used.” Well knock us down with a damp insole, you don’t say?
Sadly, if you’re a vulnerable customer who would stand to benefit most from more accurate bills, you’re screwed. EnergySmart won’t be available to pre-pay customers or those who do not have internet access. Still, never mind, it all looks good from a PR point of view and might help British Gas out in the next round of the Worst Company In Britain 2009 fandango.