All aboard the creepy closed kingdom that is Ikealand
If the idea of Ikea brings you out in a cold sweat, you probably won’t be putting your name down to live in the entire TOWN that the Swedish furniture giants are planning to build in East London.
Yes, they’ve snapped 11 hectares of prime land and are going to put up 1,200 rental homes, which they say will be price to appeal to a range of incomes. Sounds like a recipe for groovy harmony to us.
There’ll also be office space, a creative zone, a restaurant, a hotel, pedestrian walkways, cycle routes, and a new bus route. Maybe it’ll have its own flag and laws and tax system and language? We don’t know.
What it won’t have is cars – apparently the only vehicles allowed will be buses and the emergency services. It’s starting to sound more appealing actually.
Project manager Anthony Cobden says: “We have a very good understanding of rubbish collection, of cleanliness, of landscape management,” adding that “we would have a fairly firm line on undesirable activity, whatever that may be.” Sounds like a threat if you ask us. A big threat.
Cobden also says: “But we also feel we can say, okay, because we’ve kept control of the management of the commercial facilities, we have a fairly strong hand in what is said in terms of the activities that are held on site.”
So, Butlins for wankers then. Glad we’ve cleared that up. Building starts in 2013.