The greatest ever TV Licence-dodging excuses
Ever wondered what’s in the back of TV Licence detector van? According to the shady agents at TV Licensing, there’s something new – a hand held device that will beep whenever it’s within 29 feet of an operating TV.
Sounds impressive but we’re struggling to remember a time when we WEREN’T within 29 feet of an operating TV set, but hey, that might just be us.
In order to soften that amazing technological blow, TV Licensing have also revealed some of the wackiest excuses from the 280,000 people who were caught having failed to stump up the annual £142.50 fee. Here’s our top ten favourites, including three that we made up ourselves – see if you can spot them.
- “My dog watches it while I’m at work to keep him company – not me.”
- “The subtitles on my TV are set to French so I’m not paying a UK tax for something I can’t read.”
- “My wife has her hair done twice a week, so we find it difficult to pay.”
- “I’m a professional hurdler and I only use my TV as an indoor practice hurdle.”
- “I haven’t renewed my licence because my wife flushed it down the toilet, along with my wallet.”
- “My husband has just spent £3,000 on this massive flatscreen digital TV so we can’t possibly afford a licence.”
- “I haven’t watched it since Rod Hull died. I don’t want what happened to him to happen to me too.”
- “I couldn’t make my last payment as my baby was sick on my shoulder and I didn’t want to go to the shop smelling of sick because the guy I fancy works there.”
- “I have not been making payments because a baby magpie flew in to my house and I have had to stay in to feed it.”
- “I force needles into my armpits whenever I watch something so that I don’t enjoy it. If you don’t enjoy it, you don’t have to pay, right?”
We made up numbers 4, 7 and 10. Obvious wasn't it?