Tesco - you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
Ask us for our dream news story to write about, and it would invariably involve Star Wars and Tesco. We simply can't think of another mashup of topics that would cause our sphincters to twitch with more nervous excitement. So this morning the single cubicle we share with the Dealspwn team was in non-stop action as we digested the story of Daniel Jones, founder the International Church of Jediism.
Jones, born nearly a decade after Star Wars was released, was cruising the yellow label deals in the Bangor outlet of Tesco while wearing his hood, as dictated by his religion. Jones had gone to buy something to eat during his lunch break when supermarket staff approached him and explained he would have to remove the hood or leave the store.
Jones, from Holyhead, who is known by the Jedi name Morda Hehol, said he was humiliated and victimised for his beliefs in an entirely fictional and made-up religion. According to The Guardian, he has made an official complaint to Tesco, is considering a boycott of the store and is seeking legal advice. Hats off to Tesco (or hoods, depending on your inclination) for the clued-up PR person who judged the situation correctly and said the following:
"Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood.
"If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they'll miss lots of special offers."
We're with Tesco on this one - we don't recall any Jedi dressing in a bright blue hoodie which, in our considered opinion makes Jones look more like a shoplifter than the leader of a global religion fictionalised by two very good films and four very shit ones.