Sky to launch 3D TV - but what's next?

BSkyB have announced they will be the first European broadcaster to offer 3D TV when they introduce the format from 2010AD. That’s next year, and not the name of a boys’ comic.

The Murdoch-owned broadcaster have already dabbled in the pioneering format earlier in the year by oddly choosing to film the one-dimensional pop group Keane in 3D. Movies, entertainment and sport will be part of the 3D line up when it launches, and no doubt Sky will be plumping up the monthly subscription appropriately, like a busty matron plumps up a pillow for a wheezy, helpess, asthmatic patient.

We’re eager to see what telly technologists come up with next and so we present our… Bitterwallet Blueprint For The Future Of Television!

2012:  Hologram telly. Like off of Star Wars but a bit clearer and less prone to repeating itself.

2016:  A new format of broadcasting is pioneered which allows the viewer to climb inside the TV set and become part of the programme. A bit like from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

2019:  A portable 3D television set is unveiled that fits snugly inside a false moustache. The action appears in front of your very eyes thanks to the magic of tiny moustache-based prisms.

2021:  A television is invented that can fit inside a tiny clog. No one is quite sure why.

2023:  After an earlier administrative error is uncovered, a television is invented that can fit inside a tiny dog. No one is quite sure why.


  • G R.
    Maybe they should concentrate on getting more HD channels instead of 3D which sounds rubbish!!!
  • Amanda H.
    Any 3D pron channels "coming"? Duck!
  • ctuk
    hahahaha, clog and dog look similar. I'll have endless fun with that. p.s. lookin' forward to 3dtv
  • V L.
  • chrisg.
    3D TV will be utterly utterly pointless until it works without lame glasses.

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