Simply Red sign exclusively to Tesco

Mick Hucknall is an impressively disliked man. Once, on a trip to Whitby, I discovered that the whole town hates him. After he filmed the video for 'Holding Back The Years' there, and essentially, acted like a spoiled little shit throughout, the town has been completely unwilling to stop slagging him off to absolutely any visitor who might mention this fact to them.

One bloke in a pub spat on the floor at the mere mention of his name.

It's pretty fair to say that Simply Red are not... and have never been... a cool band. Some jumped-up scrawn-bag belting it out under the assumption that he sounds like Marvin Gaye over muzak Casio demo setting 'soul' was only ever going to win over slightly overweight women who spend most of their day in their dressing gowns and eating scratch cards and Quavers for their tea.

Naturally, Mick Hucknall isn't the coolest of humans himself, these days, looking like someone drew a face on a cushion and stuck some orange wool on top and tried to pass it off as a Malcolm McLaren bonfire guy.

With that, we shouldn't be surprised that Simply Red have signed to the hippest, coolest record company in the world - Tesco.

Yep, reducing their product to a similar level of dog food and Value stewing steak (please note, both of these products are the same with different labels on them), Hucknall & Co have signed up with the supermarket giant for the first in a series of albums to be sold exclusively in its stores and via

So yeah. If you don't even own rudimentary listening holes on your head, you might want to scoot over to Tesco and buy Simply Red butchering the very air that sound passes through.

[Music Week]


  • piggy
    'Hucknall & Co are have signed up' ?!
  • F. F.
    "Holding back the ears"
  • Maude
    Shame about the typo – drew A face – because that was otherwise an extremely entertaining paragraph there, Mof.
    • twooks

      Bit late,  but,   what typo??? 

  • Nobby
    He managed to bone quite a few women though, that's why the people of Whitby don't like him.

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