Now available: a real-life lightsaber that will blind and burn and everything

star-wars-lightsaber-burns-skin-0 Always wanted to own your own fully-functional lightsaber like the lads and lasses in Star Wars? Well now you can – but beware because it’ll genuinely fuck up anyone who you turn it on.

It’s the Spyder III Pro Arctic laser pointer and it’s available to import into the UK. Trouble is that it comes with a warning, pointing out that it will “blind permanently and instantly and set fire quickly to skin and other body parts.” Oh, right.

Apparently, it works with the help of a blue diode laser, the same as those found in Blu-ray players but it obviously has been mixed with some kind of extreme nuclear sauce, causing it to be classed as a highly dangerous item.

Other than using it as some kind of portable barbecue that’s exciting to watch, we’re not really sure how it can catch on without someone becoming very, very injured by it.

Only $200 by the way!


  • Jonny S.
    WTF? IS DIS REAL? I want one...
  • Junkyard
    Looks a bit suspicious. Lasers of this kind of power normally run to more like $3000 dollars. Also, the blue diode is purportedly out of a laser projector, rather than a blu-ray player. I think they're claiming that's why it's so cheap.
  • Urack H.
    Who gives a shit, if this thing can potentialy blind and has the ability to burn skin & clothes, then that's all that matters innit!
  • DavtT
    I this the laser fired at Messi in their first game?
  • Howard M.
    These laser pointers that can blind you worry me so much because the only kind of plonker that would lay down $2000 for one is the same kind of plonker that would wave it in someone's face and blind them.
  • Howard M.
    It truly is the future! The warning label says 'Shooting a laser at an aircraft is considered a felony in the U.S.'
  • fatlad
    WTF? Why would anyone need one of these? As Howard Moon said, the only people who are going to buy one of these are the kind of people that will wave it round in someone's face.
  • Klingelton
    pop balloons.
  • A. P.
    To cut the bra straps off some stunner with huge noorks which are boiling over?
  • Simon B.
    So you don't require a sunny day when torturing insects?
  • Travis T.
    yup, ordered.
  • Howard M.
    Sorry Travis, I don't think you wank this one to recharge it.
  • Outsidethebox
    Hahahahaha, classic excuses to have one, possibly another is to buy regular cheap cheddar cheese and convert it to more expensive swiss cheese, thus slowly earning back the money back you spent on it in the first place.
  • Qazar
    These arent toys they are for more constructive matters i dont no why some idiot posted this blog saying its a light saber lmao!
  • Jeffory
    Needs to be cheaper

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