He Won't Try Nicking Anything - He's Armless
Let’s get this straight – not all shop assistants are dozy-assed mouth-breathers. Sure, a certain percentage of them are, but it’s definitely not all of them. Having said that, if you’re a shop assistant who stands by, not realising that an armless man is walking out of your store with a 24” telly, then you’re definitely a dozy-assed mouth-breather.
That’s exactly what happened in a store in Munich, Germany last week. Store staff failed to twig that the limbless recidivist (with the help of some accomplices) had clamped the goggle box to his body before scarpering out of the door.
A police spokesman said: "It's hard to believe that the sight of an armless man walking along with a giant TV clamped to his body did not get anyone's attention."
In the interests of balance, Bitterwallet would like to point out that not all limbless individuals are thieving scum. Here’s kung fu legend Ted Vollrath kicking the shit out of some baddies… without owning any arms or legs!