Ellie Goulding: As sponsored by X-Box


Have you heard of Ellie Goulding? If you need your memory jolting into action, then she's The Next Big Thing, mainly because she won some spurious award at the Brits the other week.

Anyway, it looks like she's got some corporate backing (away from her Polydor record deal) from Microsoft. A few weeks back, Microsoft held an event which was an X-Box Reverb-sponsored Ellie Goulding gig.

Dizzyjam went down and landed in PR hell.

Now, people can get prickly about musicians making money from corporate activities, but y'know, musicians want to pay the bills off quickly just like anyone else. The Who Sell Out was pretty funny, right?

However, what is depressing is what bands and artistes are actually asked to do. Dizzyjam found a piece of A4 in the bogs which detailed all the things that Goulding should say about X-Box when speaking to the press.

It opens with this statement: “We would ask that Ellie Goulding try, wherever possible, to include these messages as much as possible when doing interviews.”

It continued with things that Ellie should try and casually drop into conversation with journalists:

XBox is the home of great music experiences, along with great music games like Beatles Rock Band and Guitar Hero. You can also download 100s of music videos on XBox Live”.

XBox 360 is more than just a games console – it’s an entertainment hub where you can enjoy great music, movies and of course games. Not to mention connect and communicate with your friends and family wherever they are”.

XBox Live opens you up to a world of great entertainment simply by plugging your XBox 360 into your broadband. Play, watch and connect with your friends”.

How grim is that? Whoever wrote that shite up should be strung up and shot at. They aren't words strung together like conversation, rather, it's 'copy'. Anyone who has read a press release will know how 'copy' is the worst prose in the history of human endeavour (apart from my clunky ramblings, granted).

Is this PR gone too far?


  • PS3 F.
    Hi, I'm a Playstation 3 fanboy. I have to say XBOX and all other things Microsoft suck. Haha, look at Microsoft making themselves look so dickish. WE WIN YOU FUCKING LOSERS. HAR HAR HAR. MICROSOFT SHOULD EAT BIG SALTY BADGER DICK.
  • Tom
    By sponsoring you mean Bill Gates gets to fuck her every week yeah? That guy could make Hugh Heffner look like a vicar....and not the paedo type
  • The B.
    One would have to query how the gent (assumption) above knows that badger cocks are salty but I digress. You reference her as a "musician", one would have to question if she: a) Plays an instrument b) Writes her own music c) Writes her own lyrics If she has to rely on MS sponsorship to make money then I'm guessing no, perhaps she'd consider Mr Cowell slipping her one for a contract? She wouldn't even have to sing then, just wear skimpy clothes and mime badly and gag on Cowells manfat occasionally.
  • Gunn
    MS don't have treat us like idiots, just throws lots of money at anything to brain wash us into thinking they are the best thing ever.
  • Paul C.
    She does all three Bob. In fact, this is what she was initially hyped and blogged about before landing into mainstream press towards the end of last year. Do some fucking research before trying to satirise.
  • Rolly
    Do I need any MS addons, like a special adaptor to turn a standard USB cable into something else then back into a USB cable to charge my controller? If so, IM IN! I love paying for a Play And Charge kit, when it could have just been a USB cable! Wooo
  • andyofyarm
    I think this is terrible ,it makes me cry into my excellent DELL INSPIRON 1100 netbook with FUNKY KEYS and WHOA DELL DELL DELL.Buy Fucking DELL you twats reading this.
  • (jah) w.
    "You reference her as a “musician”, one would have to question if she: a) Plays an instrument b) Writes her own music c) Writes her own lyrics If she has to rely on MS sponsorship to make money then I’m guessing no, " Eh? Many real musicians can't afford to sustain themselves with the current music business model. I doubt she is a real musician, but an artist having to whore themselves to make money is nothing new, and certainly not the sign of a manufactured band.
  • Mark
    It's 'Xbox'! Not X-Box or XBox.
  • Tom
    PS3 ftw
  • The B.
    Oooh, I appear to have upset her dad, sorry Paul, didn't mean to insult your daughter.
  • Jam
    Bob it isn't an insult, you clearly just have no idea what you're talking about. Ok so these quotes were found, but I challenge someone to find an interview in which Ellie said any of those things? The Xbox PR team went way overboard, but it was nothing to do with Ellie
  • andyofyarm
    Other than taking the cash
  • (jah) w.
    so everything to do with her, then.
  • Gazoo
    i'm pretty sure everyone here would say a little more than that for a few thousand quid wouldn't they? It's not her fault if illegal downloading sucks away more than 70% of her market and she has to do other things to make a bit of cash.

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