Travel

travel

Worst airports EVER - which are yours?

Once you've travelled through a few airports, you come to recognise which can handle large volumes of passengers better than others. At New York's JFK for example, there's far more space and more (manned) customs desks in Terminal 4 (which the likes of Virgin and KLM usually fly into) than in Terminal 7 (British Airways).…

Let the good times roll aboard East Midland Trains

We've all boarded a train with a handful of inconsiderate louts aboard. Maybe it was a cup final, maybe they're just thirsty for Tennents - whatever the excuse, it can make the journey a misery for other passengers. Still, you'll have to put in a near-professional drinking effort to beat these arseholes on board the…

FOUND! The Premier Inn with the heavenly view! Except...

As avid readers will know, we've been on the hunt for the Premier Inn that features in their current TV advert - specifically, we've trying to find which of their hotels offers this incredible sea view: The good news is - we've found it! Reader Darren pointed us to the Premier Inn Paignton at Goodrington…

Why booking flights with Jet2 is a miserable, unfair experience

Time to begin planning the Summer holidays again, which means across the north of the country, thousands of customers are forced to endure Jet2's excruciatingly convoluted and unfair booking system. I don't say that lightly; not only are customers continuously and illegally opted-in to charges, but some practices are now so obscure that customers have…

Buy your child a Baby In A Microwave toy!

While this may not be new or news, we've stumbled across a most peculiar toy from those wonderful Japanese folks from Japanland. Welcome Baby In A Microwave! That's right! Is your puking little sprog forever sticking its siblings in the microwave trying to explode them? Well sate their disgusting desires with this toy! Or send…

Durham Tees Valley Airport to charge you simply for walking through the door

If you're planning on flying from Durham Tees Valley Airport, you'll love this. Soon, you'll have to pay a fee just to get through the doors. That's right! From November, adults will be charged £6 and children £2. Owner Peel Airports reckon that this fee is a way of safeguarding the future of the airport,…

Rail passenger charged £155 for getting off one stop early

Wave goodbye to common sense everyone – there it goes now, on a train from Birmingham to Durham. This is a story that, to be frank, boils our piss – a tale of a rail passenger being ordered to pay £155 for getting off a train one stop BEFORE his designated departure station. That passenger…

Most people don't want to make calls on a plane

I once had a conversation with a barber who told me he cut the hair of an airline pilot. One of the things he'd learned from him was "the reason they don't let you use your phone on a plane is because they're an annoyance. If they made the plane crash, they would take 'em…

easyJet's refund policy doesn't scan well for passengers

So then. You book a flight online with easyJet.com, through their online booking system. Once your online booking is confirmed, their online system sends a confirmation email. Any additional passenger details must be submitted online and, should you want to, you can go online and log into the site at any time to view your…

Cabin crew raise funds during strike by selling naked photos

Sometimes I'm happy to be a massive hypocrite who is happy to objectify womenfolk in the name of a good cause. You see, a group of Spanish cabin crew ladies got laid-off when their employer Air Comet went belly-up at the end of last year and, well, they've decided that while they wait for their…

Fatties AND stinkers no longer welcome on planes

Throughout all of the recent furore over fat people being chucked off aeroplanes, one question has remained unasked. Namely – what about all the smelly bastards? Why aren’t they being asked to disembark before take-off? Now, as airlines slowly morph into airbound Aryan mini-states, it’s starting to happen. It’s game over for the stinkers and…

Finally, a solution to a wee problem men have had for decades

Gents, unless you’re using some kind of system that involves suction and funnels, it’s pretty impossible to do a textbook wee without there being some kind of splashback from out of the lavatory pan. It’s an age-old inconvenience that men suffer from quietly, along with having to shave every day and being able to pack…

A couple of weeks ago, we told you about the less-than-stellar experience of Anthony Burns, who contacted Bitterwallet after three weeks of inaction from the Hilton on Grosvenor Street in Edinburgh, with regards to a night he spent at the four star hotel, booked through lastminute.com’s Top Secret Hotel deals. He had a long list…

Nobody advertises fruit on our television. Maybe it's because we've been scoffing the stuff for donkeys' years, and been trained to eat it as part of the now legendary balanced lifestyle. It's common sense innit, and we don't need condescending marketing campaigns costing jillions to tell us what we already know, in the same way…

Chav Free Holidays - Leave Your Air Rifle At Home

Who fancies some class warfare? Middle class warfare? Oh yeah! That’s right, the well-heeled are fighting back, most notably in the shape of Northumberland-based holiday company Activities Abroad. They’ve put out a promotional email to the 24,000 people on their database, plugging ‘chav-free holidays’ including lists of names “you are likely to encounter” on one…