Train driver tells lady to shaddapa ya face

We’ve all been stuck on a train with an irritating waste of human flesh, who is barking into his/her phone about ‘going forward with the Abu Dhabi office’. And we’ve all dearly wished that we could skewer said person in the throat with a pointy drinks stirrer.
But boring things like not wanting to get arrested usually prevail, and you sit there for 3 hours clenching your butt cheeks and furiously writing train tweets as the culprit pollutes the carriage with their verbal flatulence.


Thanks to a ‘plucky’ train driver on London Midland’s London to Milton Keynes route, one such annoying woman was publicly humiliated for having an obnoxiously loud conversation - much to the delight of her fellow passengers.

‘This is a special message to the lady travelling in first class in the middle of the train. Please refrain from shouting on the phone as you are annoying other passengers.’ Said the driver, and the woman was so embarrassed her face melted her phone and she collapsed into a steaming green heap like the witch in the Wizard of Oz (probably.)

London Midland says it’s not part of their policy, but the rest of the human race is delighted by this simple, effective intervention. So what do you think? Should train drivers have the power to tell customers to STFU?


  • Richard
    More likely to have been the conductor? How would the driver know? Either way, a welcome move.
  • Quietus
    Agreed. I'd also like to see conductors taking action against all of the ignorant people who refuse to move their bags off seats to allow others to sit down. Tonnes of seats with bags on, and tonnes of people standing in different spots without seats. Come on, conductors - conduct!
  • Dick
    ^ A simple phrase to learn is "Can I sit there?". It usually works.
  • noshit
    "shut up" & "move the bag or I'll sit on it", or continue to sniff other ppls shit out by the toilets I guess.

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