Thomson are going to fly planes on cooking oil and make the clouds stink of chips
Thomson are going to fly some actual planes powered by cooking oil. They'll become the first airline in Britain to fly customers on biofuel when a service zooms off to Spain next month, making the sky smell like old meals, prompting the rain to turn into liquid chicken nuggets.
Thomson are going to get their planes that smell like a Glaswegian's arteries and fly them from Birmingham to Palma on July 28th, once a man with a clipboard says that it is safe to do so.
Flights are going to operate on a 50/50 blend of Jet A1 fuel and hydroprocessed esters and fatty acids (amusingly, they're known as HEFA, y'know, like cows? Oh sod off then) fuel made from used cooking oil.
This has already been done over in Holland where KLM flew 171 passengers from Amsterdam to Paris. The French were appalled that the plane wasn't using truffle oil according to completely fictional reports.
Thomson managing director Chris Browne says, while cooking a fryer of chips the size of a football pitch: "As sustainable biofuels become more commercially viable, Thomson Airways plans to expand its use of sustainable biofuels across its fleet over the next three years."
Of course, with planes needing huge amounts of fuel, this means we'll all have to do our bit and eat as much greasy food as possible... that's if the airlines of the world don't use up all our food reserves to the point of extinction.