Thomson are going to fly planes on cooking oil and make the clouds stink of chips

1 July 2011

Bitterwallet - Thomson seat feesThomson are going to fly some actual planes powered by cooking oil. They'll become the first airline in Britain to fly customers on biofuel when a service zooms off to Spain next month, making the sky smell like old meals, prompting the rain to turn into liquid chicken nuggets.

Thomson are going to get their planes that smell like a Glaswegian's arteries and fly them from Birmingham to Palma on July 28th, once a man with a clipboard says that it is safe to do so.

Flights are going to operate on a 50/50 blend of Jet A1 fuel and hydroprocessed esters and fatty acids (amusingly, they're known as HEFA, y'know, like cows? Oh sod off then) fuel made from used cooking oil.

This has already been done over in Holland where KLM flew 171 passengers from Amsterdam to Paris. The French were appalled that the plane wasn't using truffle oil according to completely fictional reports.

Thomson managing director Chris Browne says, while cooking a fryer of chips the size of a football pitch: "As sustainable biofuels become more commercially viable, Thomson Airways plans to expand its use of sustainable biofuels across its fleet over the next three years."

Of course, with planes needing huge amounts of fuel, this means we'll all have to do our bit and eat as much greasy food as possible... that's if the airlines of the world don't use up all our food reserves to the point of extinction.

TOPICS:   Travel   Motoring

3 comments

  • Inspector G.
    I thought that biofuels, whilst may be sustainable, are completely environmentally un-friendly as they are grown using rainforest cleared land and probably also mixed with polar bear tears.
  • I B.
    This is nothing new, Thomson's customers have been stinking of fried foods for years, in my opinion.
  • br04dyz
    Question on the science of clouds that smell of chips: When it rains, will the oil survive to the ground, or will it evaporate on the way down? And if it hails, will KFC popcorn chicken fail to the ground?

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