Stelios lumbers into view with the easyGym

stelios pizza

Stelios is back! The man who wowed us with easyJet and then made us all go “Um, yeah, whatever” with its cinema and hotel equivalent is back, back, BACK – with the easyGym!

It’s due to launch next year and will enable exercise junkies to get their fitness fix without straining their, erm, wallet muscles too much. As a result, the gyms will not have so-called ‘luxury’ features such as swimming pools and saunas. In fact, we hope they’re equipped solely with gear lifted from 1980’s Soviet Union ‘sports camps’ but have to admit that it’s unlikely.

Stelios himself says: “As a gym user – admittedly perhaps not as often as I should – I have noticed many inefficiencies in the system and believe there is a simpler and more efficient way to cater for the needs of the consumer.” Gym user eh?

We’re waiting for a response from Ryanair boss Sky Marshall O'Leary on this one – you might remember that the Sky Marshall has mocked Stelios over his weight in the past and recently challenged him to a race around Trafalgar Square. Perhaps the easyGym is a way for Stelios to get in shape for said race.

But what if Ryanair did gyms – what would THAT be like? Hmmm... over to you, avid readers...

[Brand Republic]


  • Michael O.
    Interesting idea - I imagine ours will smell mainly of ass sweat and cheap cologne.
  • Paul C.
    I'm hazarding a guess that RyanAir's version would charge you for a shower, no music, no tv and possibly attract Charles Bronson types.
  • Marky M.
    The lights and black-and-white TVs would be powered by dynamos attached to the running machines. Any additional voltage generated would be sold to Powergen to pay for more pies for Stelios.
  • David
    It's well-known that exercise increases your breathing. I think a Ryanair gym would charge you by cubic centemetre for air. Of course, you wouln't know about the charge until you were already out of breath. Showers would be extra, of course. Locker locking charge. Locker reserve charge. Locker release fee. Membership-badge 'looking at' charge, charges for getting changed. Extra charges for any equipment that is actually safe. And you have to do your workout within 20 minutes so they can clean the gym. Which you pay for as well. Good luck RyanGym.
  • bushbrother
    Will there be a "Priority Boarding" membership for an extra couple of quid to queue jump to be next on the machine?
  • klingelton
    the window in front of the ladies cross trainers will have an oggling fee...
  • Whois S.
    They would charge per kilo when you use the weights. And by metres on the bikes and rowing machines.
  • lightning101
    I'd go if it was all proper free weights and bowls of steroid tablets adorned each workout station. I miss pulling faces, grunting and being sick/shitting myself
  • Andy
    So he's buying PureGym? They' ve been doing this for ages.
  • Tom
    LOL the only thing he has lifted are those pies to his face the fat tw*t
  • me
    LOL Andy Dawson calling somebody else "Fat fuck" ???
  • Nobby
    Why would anyone want to go to a gym painted orange? It would make the all the puffing red faces look even worse.
  • Michael
    Your kit-bag would have to fit into a 55cm x 40cm x 20cm locker. Any water bottles or deodorants must be no larger that 100ml and come in a clear plastic bag.
  • klingelton
    I would pay money for stelios' easyGirl
  • hippy1001
    EasySweat! there i came up for a name for the flippin place! What more do you want huh! I dont goto gyms, i get the best treadmill in the world, its called a path and it has scenery through a forrest. i got weight lifting equipment too, like when im carrying the bodies of the dead women into a ditch. I got showers too, cos i live in scotland and it pretty much rains every day.
  • Yessum
    you line up outside an easyjet flight and pay money to load the baggage on and off.
  • The B.
    Klingy, you don't have to pay for EasyGirl, just buy her a couple of drinks.

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