Shock as rail fares increase
Everyone agrees that the British train services are extremely good value for money, punctual and incredibly modern with carriages that are spacious and don't at all smell like armpits and wafting urine.
So obviously, no-one is going to mind that there's going to be some increases in ticket prices, with some season tickets breaking the £5,000-a-year mark from January 2nd. We've all been robbing these train companies blind haven't we? Of course we'd be happy to pay more.
You can imagine the only people who didn't detect the sarcasm in those opening paragraphs are the kind of dung-minded bosses who run our dismal train companies.
So, the increase for regulated fares will be up to 2.5% which means, if you catch a train from Canterbury East to London, your £4,960 season ticket will now be in advance of FIVE GRAND. It's enough to make you think 'sod it' and just buy a car instead so you can at least listen to music and fart as loudly as you please on your commute.
And of course, this is only the rise for regulated fares - unregulated fares like off-peak tickets can be inflated by as much as the companies please. Will we see this extra money going toward a sparkling, new and improved service? What do you think?
Rail Delivery Group director general Michael Roberts said: "Money from fares goes towards running and maintaining the railway. This benefits not just passengers and businesses but communities across the country, by improving journeys, creating employment and helping to boost the economy."
"Over the next five years, Network Rail is spending on average £27million a day on a better railway, alongside commitments made by train companies to improve services. That will mean more seats, better stations and improved journeys. For every £1 spent on fares, 97p goes on track, train, staff and other costs while 3p goes in profits earned by train companies for running services on Europe's fastest growing railway."
"The industry is continuing to work together to get more for every pound we invest to enable government to make fares decisions which work best for passengers."
Aye, right. Thing is, if you get an anytime ticket from Manchester to London - usually in advance of £300 - you could fly to another country for cheaper. The train companies are a cesspool of villainy.