Ryanair leave passenger's luggage at home, plus passengers
Ah, there you are. You've caught us putting to bed the latest edition of Ryanair News Daily, our 276 page sister publication that's packed with all the latest Ryanair news and hyperbole. Which story are we leading with for tomorrow's edition, you ask? It's not our exclusive photos of Sky Marshall O'Leary punching a horse in the face, because that's our centre spread! In fact it's the news that 700 passengers watched their flights depart from Stansted Airport without them, because their luggage wasn't loaded onto their flights in time.
The Daily Mail paints a scene of near-riots at the weekend, when Ryanair opened just 11 bag drops for passengers on Saturday, despite having 255 flights scheduled. As the queues trailed around the airport, Police were called in to keep the crowds in order as their flights left without them. Ryanair apologised retrospectively for ruining the summer holidays of dozens of families, before blaming baggage handlers Swissport, who went on to offer another apology worth dick-all.
Perhaps the most surprising detail of the story is that Question Time presenter David Dimbleby flies Ryanair, because he missed his flight to France. Those bargains really are too good to pass up, aren't they? The no-nonsense television news fluffer exclaimed:
"They [Ryanair] have not spoken to any of these people, there have not been any public announcements and they have not said when the flights are called. The police are here with machine-guns, supposed to be protecting us from terrorists, but they end up protecting Ryanair ticket sellers. It's absurd.
"To make matters worse, Michael O'Leary turned up and punched a horse in the face."