Ryanair leave passenger's luggage at home, plus passengers

Ah, there you are. You've caught us putting to bed the latest edition of Ryanair News Daily, our 276 page sister publication that's packed with all the latest Ryanair news and hyperbole. Which story are we leading with for tomorrow's edition, you ask? It's not our exclusive photos of Sky Marshall O'Leary punching a horse in the face, because that's our centre spread! In fact it's the news that 700 passengers watched their flights depart from Stansted Airport without them, because their luggage wasn't loaded onto their flights in time.

Stansted Airport, Saturday

The Daily Mail paints a scene of near-riots at the weekend, when Ryanair opened just 11 bag drops for passengers on Saturday, despite having 255 flights scheduled. As the queues trailed around the airport, Police were called in to keep the crowds in order as their flights left without them. Ryanair apologised retrospectively for ruining the summer holidays of dozens of families, before blaming baggage handlers Swissport, who went on to offer another apology worth dick-all.

Perhaps the most surprising detail of the story is that Question Time presenter David Dimbleby flies Ryanair, because he missed his flight to France. Those bargains really are too good to pass up, aren't they? The no-nonsense television news fluffer exclaimed:

"They [Ryanair] have not spoken to any of these people, there have not been any public announcements and they have not said when the flights are called. The police are here with machine-guns, supposed to be protecting us from terrorists, but they end up protecting Ryanair ticket sellers. It's absurd.

"To make matters worse, Michael O'Leary turned up and punched a horse in the face."

[Daily Mail]


  • Ian
    David O'Leary? Haha, what is that Jonathan Dimbleby like?! Epic fail. Owned.
  • Ian
    Still feeling the anguish of Leeds
  • Paul S.
    Brilliant. I amaze myself sometimes. I've been calling him Sky Marshall for so long I'd forgotten his first name.
  • andy y.
    Dimbleby you fucking cheapskate.
  • Mike e.
    I don't think Micheal 'O'Lairy' O'Leary turned up and punched a horse in the face did he now Paul? Probably more like a baby or a puppy.
  • Graham N.
    I heard that Michael O’Leary wasn't there as he was busy drowning puppies. In bags made from live kittens.
  • Nobby
    The passengers are to blame. They should not expect to check-in or drop off bags. What do they think Ryanair is. An airline?
  • Baullld
    OOOOh sex
  • Baullld
    Big bad bald bold bald bold baulld bold bald?
  • Frivold
    My wife was at Stansted Friday - arrived plenty early, but still lost her flight. No-one at Ryanair at the airport were willing to help. I was left the the task of re-scheduling her replacement flight - ended up calling their coustomer service - at a significant pr. minute cost to me - with no help. The next available flight was 2 days later - and I therefore also had to book a hotel for her to wait for the next 2 nights - the one-way replacement flight had to be purchased separately at the cost of 4 times the original flight - and as I was entering the booking and ready to pay the website froze - as I re-entered the information - the prize had increased by 50 Pounds. No more Ryanair for our family!
  • Kevin
    Why people don't actually riot when confronted with something like that I DO NOT know. You couldn't have enough security or police to stop 700 people going mad.
  • easyJet B.
    [...] Ryanair successfully proved a couple of weeks ago, not having enough check-in desks available in airports can lead to holiday-bollocking ruination. easyJet aren’t going to make the same mistake, but [...]
  • aaaaaaag f.
    aid began pouring into Indonesia's quake-hit West Sumatra on Saturday, the United Nations said the clock was ticking to restore essential public services including w rthrtjr wahw tjater and

What do you think?

Your comment