Ryanair changes and charges airborne from Thursday
A neutron star is so dense that one teaspoon of its material would have a mass over 5 trillion kg. Yet even this unimaginable scientific fact pales into irrelevance when compared to the size and density of Ryanair's balls. This Thursday sees the budget airline complete its latest lap of circular logic to improve to improve service and offer better value for money, by decreasing available services and charging more.
All passengers will be required to check in online before departure and print their own boarding pass, at a cost of £5 per person per flight - anyone without a boarding pass will be charged £40 for one before flying. All check-in desks will be binned and anyone checking in luggage will have to use bag-drop desks. And the the new charges for checked-in luggage will come into play, too; the cost of checking in a single bag - with a maximum weight of 15kg (about 5kg heavier than the average full carry-on suitcase) - will rise from £20 to £30 per flight. A second bag will cost £70. Aiee.
And it's for you, damnit, it's all for you! A spokesman for Ryanair told the Telegraph the changes "will improve passengers' experience of the airport and allow the airline to continue offering the lowest fares", and that all additional charges "are optional and avoidable". Apart from the fiver for checking in online. Obviously he didn't mean that one.
Meanwhile, the UK's newest non-budget budget airline is getting stick from all quarters; British Airways has been savaged by trade union Unite for continuing to introduce cost-cutting measures. The union accused BA management of ''rapidly losing its way'', saying the long list of cuts and introduction of ancillary charges were "tarnishing" the brand's reputation and would eventually drive customers away:
''Unite is becoming increasingly frustrated with BA and its attempts to address change in the industry by adopting the practices of low-cost carriers.
''BA's market is not low-cost and it will never successfully compete in this market, nor should it aspire to be a low-cost operator. Customers upgrading to BA do not expect to see add-on charges for seat allocation, baggage check-in, meals and drinks.''