Ryanair announce ash cloud-busting profits


Ryanair might be the world’s most controversial airline, but Sky Marshall O’Leary and his zombie army are clearly doing something right – they’ve just announced a profit of £117.8 million in the three months to the end of June – up one per cent on last year.

Vaguely impressive, but more so when we take into account that the period in question included the battle against the Sky Marshall’s greatest foe – the volcanic ash cloud.

O’Leary claims that the antics of the cloud in April and May cost Ryanair £42.5m, even though the airline were criticised for allegedly leaving passengers stranded when the cloud crisis brought the universe to a standstill.

The Sky Marshall blurted: “Despite these volcanic ash disruptions Ryanair continues to increase traffic, yields, and profits, while most of our competitors are cutting capacity and reporting losses.” No doubt he’ll now continue to come up with crazy plans to bring misery to travellers while generating another metric fuckton of column inches.

Schemes like converting the Ryanair fleet to run on vegetable peelings and charging passengers an extra £20 if they dare to nod off during the flight.


  • dacouch
    Why did you have to mention charging people if they fall asleep on the flight, O'Leary will probably read this and think what a great idea. Pay a £20 fee to fall asleep or the stewardesses will film you asleep and show it on the main tv while you fly and / or draw comedy moustaches on your face and shave your eyebrows. Expect a call from O'Leary later today with a job offer
  • Jeffers
    I didn't think that £118m figure included the exceptional £50m write-down loss of the ash cloud...
  • james d.
    basturds, charge me £1 to go to sweden while making a profit will ya!
  • The B.
    Jeffers, of course it didn't, that's because O'Lairy is a deceptive bastard and wants to inflate the Ryanair market value.
  • bob
    Ryanair said the profits didn't include that in the same press release, it was Bitterwallet who got it wrong. Don't let it get in the way of a rant against Ryanair for no good reason at all though... If you don't like Ryanair/are too incompetant to follow the rules for their cheap flights then please leave everyone else who does take advantage of it to do so in peace.
  • Michael
    You're hired!
  • Mike
    Well, I would guess that quite a bit of that profit is the credit card and web check-in fees which didn't get refunded if your flight was cancelled.
  • Mark
    @Mike: Actually three of my flights with Ryanair got cancelled during the ash crisis, and they refunded my money to the nearest cent, including all card/check-in fees paid.

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