Pilot jailed for trying to fly while sky-high on drink
Pilots. They have a glamorous life don't they? They have those nice suits and get to wear those smart hats and hang around with attractive, orange faced ladies. They travel the world and are as close to James Bond as any of us are likely to get.
Of course, the reality of the job is much more depressing. They never get to see their destinations, have to lurk around horrible airports and the planes fly themselves. So what to do?
Well, if you're George La Perle, you drink. Heavily. While trying to board a plane so you can fly it through the air at great speeds while being sick down his front. Possibly.
See, good ol' George turned up at Heathrow so impressively drunk that he didn’t even know where he was supposed to be flying the transatlantic passenger flight to. As such, he's been thrown in prison for six months.
Good ol' George told prosecutors that he'd had a few beers the previous evening and that he was scheduled to fly to New York. Sadly for Champion George, he was supposed to be flying to Detroit. It's not surprising he didn't know where he was supposed to be going - he was four and a half times over the limit for pilots. He was even over the limit for the less strictly limits for driving a car.
It transpires that George is an alcoholic and, like all good pisscans, he's now feeling deep remorse. Imagine him pleading "I can change love... (hic)... honesht I can..." to his own reflection.
Jailing him on Friday, Judge Phillip Matthews said: "You knew that you were about to co-pilot a Boeing 767 across the Atlantic with all that entails, yet you had consumed alcohol which, at the time that you arrived at Heathrow Airport, was showing that you were four times over the prescribed aviation limit. The consequences for the passengers on that plane, if you had piloted for any stage of that journey, which was a distinct possibility bearing in mind that is what you were employed to do, were potentially catastrophic."
George should have got his airborne kicks a different way which wouldn't lose him his job, like these cheeky buggers derobing in the cockpit of a flight in this video (warning, the video is on the NSFW scale).