People flee UK looking for warmth

The out-of-whack jet stream is proving too much for many Brits, who are leaving the UK this Easter in their droves to do some lolling about on beaches and drinking cocktails with dubious sexual names.

1.7 million disloyal splitters are heading for sunnier climes this weekend, according to ABTA. Driven away by the weird, endless, Game of Thrones-style savage winter, airports are expecting 600,000 people to leave from Heathrow, 214,000 from Gatwick, 110,000 from Stansted and 55,000 from Luton.

Meanwhile, Britain is still doing OK in the weekend break stakes, but sales of Easter camping trips are down on last year – presumably because we don’t want to be found dead in a field somewhere with our faces frozen to a Karrimor rucksack.

With the freezing weather expected to last until mid April, going on holiday this Easter feels more like a survival tactic than an unnecessary, frivolous expense.

ABTA chief executive Mark Tanzer said: 'After two wet summers and no end in sight to the winter many Brits are desperate for some sunshine.’

No shit, Sherlock.


  • Dr Z.
    And this is news how?
  • Finance I.
    This has been happening for years and will carry on doing with the way things are going. UK's in a mess in my opinion.
  • kv
    people in holdiaying shocker!!!
  • WayOutOfWhack
    Bastards!! Out wait - I'm one of them - sayonara cunts.
  • Mr M.
    For the cost of a weekend away in this country you can have a whole week away abroad with some guaranteed nice weather, hardly a shocker.
  • andy y.
    I hear Cyrpus is a riot this year
  • chewbacca
    So, to sum up the comments so far: Dr Zoidberg has gone for the indignant "not news? pah!" angle. Finance Inspired opted for the "we're going to hell in a handbasket" line of thinking. kv has introduced a concept of "holdiaying", whatever that may be, WayOutOfWhack (definitely not the same person as "wow" who got owned THREE times in the same thread yesterday) has declared that he's one of those "sayonara cunts". He must be oriental of sorts... Mr Miagi has trotted out the usual "ripoff Britain" stuff. and finally, andy of yarm has gone for the topical "funny". It's been a fantastic thread so far, although somewhat lacking in foxes.
  • Mof G.
    ^ dont forget the miserable snidey comment from the cuntbacca. No thread complete without it.
  • Cake l.
    Top class comments. As usual. Keep it up.
  • Cake l.
    Pun unintended (I typed up my response before seeing paul smith's offering)
  • wow
    chewbacca's mind is just a vacuum of interesting anecdotes he's a loss to the after dinner speach writers guild. I'll now sit back and wait for the shut the fuck up,wank, fuck,cunt etc etc ZzzzZzzzz BORING
  • Sporky M.
    He's a legend in his own mind.
  • howdy p.
    Legend? more like bell end
  • mazzer
    so people only fleeing from southern's well warm up here in't north, 2 degrees centigrade , get the t shirts out.
  • chewbacca
    Hi wow, Good to see you're still alive after I utterly humiliated you in that other thread. Was it THREE times I proved you wrong? Don't try to correct people, you clearly lack the intelligence to do so. If you're bored by people calling you a "wank" and a "cunt", perhaps you should try not being one. Just a though. You wanking cunt. Oh, and it most definitely is TENNENT'S (with apostrophe). What a twat you made of yourself.
  • Rt c.
    Chewbacca - I'm assuming from the moniker that you are somewhat of a Star Wars geek, which would explain a great deal. Reference The Shouting Gaming thing thread the other day. No one will play with you if you insist on behaving like you do. You might understand it better if I say "Use the force and come away from the dark side." I'm off to work now, If you wondering what that is? It is where an employer pays you for your time and effort. One day, if you're lucky you might get a job too. - remember to say - "can I take your order over here please?" & "do you want fries with that?" and you won't go too far wrong. Stick at it Chewie (watch your language) and they might just put some stars on your name badge - shiny ones too - you'll love em! I will check up on you later. "Kirk out", "Nanu Nanu" or whatever ever it is you say when you're with your boyfriend.
  • Big M.
    @Rt Hon Sir qwerty von chops 'One day, if you’re lucky you might get a job too.' In Scotland?
  • Lord S.
    Alas and alack my dear Sir Qwerty I'm afraid Mr Chewbacca is destined to be living at his parents for some considerable time yet, claiming his disability allowance for his Tourettes. We should hold an event to raise funds to help him to integrate into society. We could call it Twat Aid.
  • Duke E.
    Eeegaads Man A fundraiser to help ol' Chewie ma boy? But I fear it may be too late I've heard his Tourettes Syndrome is so severe it has already shrivelled his cock and shrunk his brain. Rumour has it, it has got so bad he has to talk out of his arse. Mark me down for 5 guineas
  • Fatherb
    Fantastic writing Lucy. Made me laugh.
  • Lord S.
    @Lord Snooty - Stop pretending to be me you scumsucking shyster
  • Thin D.
    I say put the gutter snipe in the stocks
  • chewbacca
    Good to see you cocksuckers care! You see, it CAN be done when you remove you tiny cocks from each others arseholes for a minute or two. Imagine what you could do if you removed your tongues from your mothers cunts as well! You utter fucking morons.
  • Baron K.
    Tea Bagger There's nothing like a quick and funny comeback & that was nothing like one owned!
  • Rt c.
    "You utter fucking morons".... classic! A response as predicted, no imagination Chewbacca = 'Johnny No Stars' see you at the drive thru window xxx
  • Lord L.
    @ chewbaca oh the banter! you're just a master of the quick wit and ready repartee. Dance for me you ginger gaylord I command you!
  • wow
    chewbacca's a knob -with apostrophe
  • Xen
    Love seeing a bully getting owned. Some funny comments. :D "After two wet summers " ? We've had a wet summer every year since 2007!

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