Music man's terror plans foiled by sharp-thinking train goons

18 March 2010


As we pointed out yesterday, we live in troubling times. Would-be terrorists lurk on every street corner, their minds addled with thoughts of creating death and destruction. We are truly living through the War On Terror and every one of us is a soldier, armed not with rifles and bayonets but with vigilance and common sense.

Two of these soldiers work for South West Trains as security staff and when they saw a passenger writing down a list of bands and their songs that included The Killers, they did exactly the correct and proper thing and threw him off the train.

The passenger, 25-year-old Tom Shaw was writing out a list of song titles that his band, The Magic Mushrooms, planned to play at one of their upcoming rock ‘n’pop concerts. The set list included Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand, Cigarettes and Alcohol by Oasis and Love Me Like You by The Magic Numbers.

It was then that the keen-eyed train security staff intervened, asking potential Jihadist Shaw to disembark at the next station whereupon they ordered him to explain his list song-by-song. Shaw alleges that the security staff told him that he had been questioned because there had been a number of arrests in the area including a man who had murdered his wife. Proof, if proof is needed, that we can’t be too careful in the War On Terror.

A South West Trains spokesnoddy says that Shaw was asked to leave the train as it was busy and the officers needed to speak to him about their concerns. We say they did the right thing. It is but a short leap from listing pop groups to strapping half a ton of explosives to your person and throwing yourself at Wembley Stadium.

Tom Shaw can only be thankful that he wasn’t watching a DVD of the cult 1960s classic movie ‘Blow-Up’ – the officers might well have shot him on sight, and they’d have been fully justified.

Let’s keep ‘em peeled out there…

TOPICS:   Travel   Cool Stuff


  • Nobby
    Personally I think any free thinkers should be arrested, such as those reading books. Especially ones that do not have pictures in them.
  • diGriz
    FFS, the world's over run with morons. But it does seem like they are targetting arty types, Rolf Harris should take note.
  • Morocco
    We're heading for an Equilibrium-style society day by day. This country is bollocks.
  • Song B.
    South West Trains hires retarded wannabe police? I guess he couldnt take a picture of them in case a security guard from a shopping centre accused him of being a paedophile. And then the police would be down there to arrest him for taking a picture of wannabe policemen and for carrying a camera, I suspect.
  • PaulH
    Sigh... ...The security should be more bothered about the skin'ed nob'eds blasting out "Happy Hardcore '07" on their mobile phones
  • Morocco
    Nah, they're scared of the actual yobs, far easier to make it look like they're actually performing a useful duty by picking on law abiding citizens who don't stick up for themselves.
  • milky
    the only thing he was going to murder were some songs! I hope he got a taxi to his destination & charged the train service for an inexcuseable delay. .."what a bunch of terry fuck-wit security men" (as in you worry about security with men like that doing the job) FFS. I remember getting challenged by london underground staff for carying a 1 litre water bottle (red metallic sigg) after twin towers, no more than "what's that"? ..however if they'd looked in my rucksack they'd have seen my NBC mask & suit, ..probably didn't due to the fact that i'm not coloured, otherwise a field day of stupidity on their part may have ensued.
  • Song B.
    Posted by Morocco: "Nah, they’re scared of the actual yobs, far easier to make it look like they’re actually performing a useful duty by picking on law abiding citizens who don’t stick up for themselves." QFT Boss: So, Terry Teapot, how many people did you stop today? Terry: 12 guv. Boss: Very good, that should go down well on the KPIs. Terry: Err.. yer guv.
  • Ten B.
    [...] write down words like ‘The Killers’ when you’re on a train. Unless you actually want to be thrown off at the next stop that [...]

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