Manchester Airport to send you through security naked
You know that horrible clawing feeling you get when you approach airport security? That feeling that you're probably going to make something beep and you'll end up hearing the sickening snap of a latex glove being pulled on over your shoulder? Even though you know you're not secreting a huge bomb (or maybe you are, having read some of the comments), your hands go clammy and you gulp like a nervous cartoon character.
Well, that feeling could increase tenfold as passengers will now step through a Stargate portal that electronically undresses you until you're completely naked.
Mercifully, it isn't a case of Dr Octopus style arms tearing your clothes off, but rather, a scanner that x-rays you and takes an image of you in the nip. Of course, this means that airport staff will be able to see if you've got knives strapped to your chest, but it also means that, with this full-body scanner - actually being trialled at Manchester airport - security will be able to see a very clear outline of your genitals.
The scan will show a black and white image (it'll probably be in HD after a while, such is technology) of you which will be seen by one officer in a remote location before it is deleted according to someone at Manchester Airport called Sarah Barrett. She didn't say whether they'd be furiously masturbating or not. Probably not having walked around Britain with my eyes open.
Of course, in theory, this means that the whole security check-in process will be sped up as you won't have to remove your coat/belt/shoes/false leg.
These scanners have been trialled before at Heathrow airport in 2004 and The Department for Transport will decide whether to install them permanently at the end of the trial, which is expected to last for a year.
If you don't want anyone seeing your massive girth or fake knockers, you can refuse the virtual strip and have a trad. arr. pat down instead.