Kiss, Marry or Kill - Jet2, easyJet and Ryanair

Bitterwallet - kiss, marry or killWe can't pretend this is an original idea - this is Bitterwallet, after all - so we're happy to doff our hats to the folks at travel blog Jaunted for the shameless theft inspiration.

Kiss, Marry or Kill is a timeless format trotted out at office lunches and suburban dinner parties, shortly before car keys are swilled around a fruit bowl. Instead of applying it to people you work with or see on television, we'll apply it to companies that you, the consumer, have had dealings with - for better or worse.

(Obviously when we say 'kiss', we mean 'shag' - but we're not allowed swears or rude words in the headline - kissing is strictly optional if you want to be all romantic and sensitive)

It's not about drawing up spreadsheets of prices and offers, but more about your overall experience and feelings concerning the companies in question. So let's begin with an easy one - budget airlines. So which would you shag, which would you marry and which would you kill - out of Ryanair, easyJet and Jet2?

For our money, Ryanair seems an obvious contender for giving the chop, but we suspect plenty of you are infatuated with their service because it's cheap and uncomplicated. They may not give a damn about passengers, but then they never pretend to. easyJet are probably our favourites; for our money the service tends to be friendlier, the experience is more comfortable and it's not necessarily much more expensive than Ryanair.

As for Jet2, their lack of transparency over taxes and ridiculous insistence on charging passengers for choosing a seat (instantly playing on the fears of families with children) means we have no love for them whatsoever.

So as disturbing as it sounds, Bitterwallet would probably shag Ryanair, marry easyJet and kill Jet2. What about you? Let's have your choices and reasoning, and not a lot of potty-mouthed sex talk, please.


  • Alexis
    Jet2 - friendly low fares. How can a fare be friendly? Worse strapline ever.
  • Nick T.
    Shag Ryanair, marry BMIbaby, kill Wizzair.
  • korpse
    Worst grammar ever.
  • Nobby
    With easyjet's Greek origins, you wouldn't want to marry it. You'll end up being fucked up the arse.
  • Andrew
    Aren't Easyjet moving to the same system of prebooking your seats that Jet2 use?
  • IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGayIsGay
    Marry, kill then shag Ryanair. Oh wait
  • Maggie T.
    DTF is this real ?
  • Nobby
    @ Maggie Thatcher > DTF is this real ? Yes, Your Highness.
  • phander
    Should one of those rockets be a penis?

What do you think?

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