Japanese airline bring a new meaning to 'baggage drop'

5 October 2009

portaloo2Ryanair’s Sky Commodore Michael O’Leary was on Watchdog the other night, roaring with laughter as he reiterated his plan to hack the bogs out of his planes in order to pack in more seats, punters and revenue. The man’s a legend.

But as they say, you snooze you lose, and a Japanese airline has noted the Sky Commodore’s plans and adopted them as their own, but with a little twist. ANA are urging their passengers to use the toilet before they get on the plane, woefully claiming that lighter passenegers will reduce carbon emissions and therefore be A Great Thing For The Planet And That.

The airline are running a four-week trial with ‘loo monitors’ who will stand by boarding gates and escort passengers to the WC before they get on the plane. It all sounds so undignified as well as a naked attempt to boost profits – so why hasn’t the Sky Commodore introduced it yet?

We reckon he’s playing a long game on this one, and will make all passengers pass through a portaloo before boarding, once he’s found a way of collecting and harnessing all of their bodily waste. Possibly as an alternative to conventional aeroplane fuel. Obviously, they'll have to pay for the privilege.

The era of Ryanair passengers collectively flapping their arms like wings in order to keep the plane in the air is surely not far away…

TOPICS:   Travel

6 comments

  • charitynjw
    I thought all Ryanair's 'planes had outdoor loos. Or you had to keep your legs crossed until they stopped off to refuel with coal!
  • charitynjw
    A spokesperson for Ryanair has issued the following statement re the "coal" comment:- "Ah, bejasus, theres no fuel like an old fuel, begorrah & the top of the mornin' to yuz" A Ryanair stewardess-type person is also reported as saying "feck off, you bloody perv", though it is unclear at present whether this is relating to the loo issue, or another incident involving someone "goosing" her
  • bykergrove
    oh dear this is a paul smith kind of article :'(
  • NobbyB
    Why don't they only employ midgets as stewardesses? That would save more fuel than a few people taking a piss before boarding.
  • philipd
    is Ryanair pushing Boeing and Airbus to design pilotless planes yet? that would save 160kilos or so...and skimpy uniforms for the stewardesses could save even more weight...
  • bogman
    The next step will be that they charge for the use of the toilet - you heard it here first!

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