Ikea announces new chain of brown hotels
Called ‘Moxy’, they will offer the contemporary design Ikea fans know and love, but there will be no Slagbo beds or rickety Gobslob chests of drawers. Possibly because there’s no way Ikea furniture could withstand the kind of bouncing, lovemaking and dog’s abuse they will receive from the drunken budget traveller.
Instead, the official line from Marriott’s Arne Sorenson is that ‘Guest rooms will be functional and well-designed, with upscale bath amenities. The colour palette features calming neutral tones reminiscent of rich brown leather, combined with natural materials to evoke an organic, comfortable and restorative feel.'
Which is another way of saying: ‘We’re painting it brown so it doesn’t show up the vomit.’
Rooms are priced between €60 to €80 a night, and the first Moxy will open near Malpensa airport in Milan next year.
If all goes well, and nobody craps in the breakfast buffet, the Marriott hopes to increase the Moxy chain to 150 hotels with between 25,000 and 30,000 rooms.
But there are still many unanswered questions. Will you have to put the bed together yourself? Where’s the ball pool? Why does this rich brown leather smell funny?