Hungover? Order with emoji at hotel
Ever been so hungover that you can barely form a word? Ever been so hammered that words just swim around a page and you need something simpler to help you out? Well, Aloft Hotels have found a solution for you - emoji.
Look, we know old people hate emoji, but pensioners don't need to use them - no-one is eradicating language or anything. It is fine. For the rest of you, if you book with The Starwood Hotels & Resorts, they've got a service called Text it, Get it (TiGi) which lets you order room service packages, which basically require virtually no human interaction.
While you're vomiting in a bin, you can text an emoji and someone will come fetch you a couple of bananas and some tablets. Or maybe you're stoned out of your tree - you can tap some emoji and you'll get some fizzy pop and some snacks. Very nice and much better than the garbled texts you'd be likely to send.
"Our guests can now talk to us like they talk to each other," Starwood's Vice President of Global Marketing Paige Francis said. We can assume they don't mean customers can now call staff 'pricks' like you and your pals chat to each other.
And yes, of course this is gimmicky, but that's hardly surprising from a hotel firm.
"There's a social vibe in the Aloft experience combining with tech innovation," added Francis. "It's a natural fit for us. We're really excited about this launch." Vibe?! Now they've gone too far...