"Hello, this is Andy's car - he's just crashed into a tree. The idiot."

16 February 2010

kitt

Back when we were much younger, we dreamed of one day owning a car like Michael Knight’s KITT, one that would drive itself while delivering a series of withering, sarcastic putdowns to us just in case the idea of owning such a car had made us too big for our cowboy boots.

That dream still hasn’t been realised but we’re one step nearer with the news that the forthcoming new Audi A8 will dial 999 if you have a crash in it. It’s an enormous boon, and God knows we’re always on the look out for enormous boons these days.

Qualcomm are the brainiacs behind the idea, and the cars will be fitted with wireless tech and impact sensors, letting the car alert the emergency services in the event of a prang. Hopefully there’ll be some common sense applied as well and you won’t get a fleet of ambulances turning up when you accidentally reverse into a bollard while attempting a three point turn.

Audi-A8-1_1537558c

The new, improved A8 will also add 3G connectivity to the car’s Mobile Media Interface, providing rootin’ tootin’ 3D satellite imagery, real time route planning, location-specific points of interest or local restaurant reviews, as well as up-to-the-minute traffic information and every single episode of Bewitched. Apart from every single episode of Bewitched of course - it's not a frigging miracle car.

A self-driving, attitude-heavy gobshite car that criticises our haircuts can only be months away, surely?

TOPICS:   Travel   Mobile

5 comments

  • Sceptic
    Sounds like a poor mans version of GMs OnStar, no? Hardly a groundbreaking "boon".
  • Sceptic
    And whilst i'm here..... "The new, improved A8 will also add 3G connectivity to the car’s Mobile Media Interface, providing rootin’ tootin’ 3D satellite imagery, real time route planning, location-specific points of interest or local restaurant reviews, as well as up-to-the-minute traffic information" AKA TomTom Live
  • I'm m.
    Would be a bit more useful if it could be a bit more proactive - and advise you that you are about to crash into a tree.....
  • NellieIrrelevant
    Or even better, help you avoid hitting the tree in the first place? I heard recently about home-carers forbidden to help their aged clients up and down the stairs for - yes, you guessed it - Health and Safety reasons. However, if the client did fall downstairs and break a hip, they'd call an ambulance for them. Comforting, isn't it?
  • Nobby
    Can it tell the difference between a shopping trolley and a pedestrian?

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