Gig Review: 'Black Lace' sing for EasyJet
Think about the way airlines portray themselves. If British Airways are ethereal choral music ('The Flower Duet' by Léo Delibes if you're wondering) then EasyJet are... well... Black Lace.
Or, in the case of a free promotional gig for the World's Cruddiest Airline, two blokes who claim to be Black Lace despite not being that bloke with white Farah slacks and peroxide hair who you'll recognise from the famous appearances on Top of the Pops in the '80s.
The two blokes pictured right are Black Lace. You wouldn't guess if they kicked you up the arse repeatedly, hollering the commands of 'Superman' in your ear.
Anyway, the depressing world of PR manifested itself in public yesterday, with 'Black Lace' performing songs which included a touching Eurodance version of 'I Am The Music Man'... in front of, well, let's put it this way - there were more people covering it and associated with EasyJet than there were people of the Great British Public there for a good time.
Performing in orange Hawaiian shirts and issuing people with a Fez or two, 'Black Lace' saved the best (or, most crushingly awful if you prefer) 'til last. Yep, not only have they reworked the lyrics to 'Agadoo' to incorporate a tale about one of EasyJet's new destinations (you can hear that monstrosity here... be warned, your ears will go red with embarrassment even though you weren't there), but they've written a paean to EasyJet with the Dylan-worthy lyrics of "From Paphos, Menorca and Sharm el Sheikh too... We danced, we danced... join the EasyJet crew."
Mercifully, the assembled were issued with lyrics sheets that braced us with the line 'PASSENGER WARNING! MAY RESULT IN FUN!'
Sometimes, when art and commerce collide, even a grey day in Manchester can't spoil the glorious outpourings of two men ready to embrace fame once more. Sadly, this little turn fucked any (slim) chance of that. All the forced fun of a swingers party where no-one fancies each other and the only game woman has a runny arse. God bless EasyJet and two men who aren't Black Lace (apparently, we all get to be a member of the group at some point... a bit like jury service) who were kind enough to flick the vickies at me.