Flying salad dodgers must book a second seat, say Air France

Bloody hell, there has been an upset to turn the cosmos on its head; white is the new black, up is now down and Air French are the new spindly-mustache-stroking villains of the skies. Air French! Not the Sky Captain! Merde Sainte!

Yes, Air France-KLM has waded into the controversial territory Ryanair didn't quite have the stomach for - namely charging overweight people more for their seats. Or rather, two seats; fatties will will have to pay 75 per cent of the cost of a second seat on top of the full price for the first. If flights are not fully booked, however, then XL passengers will get a refund on the second seat.

The decision, which Air France states has been made for safety reasons, will ensure the two seats are available side-by-side so a safety belt can be secured to the second seat for passengers suffering grande rotundness. We'd question whether the arm rests will sit flush with the seats when fully raised and whether all seat belts will reach over two seats and a waist of above-average girth. There's also the small matter of how Air France will make this work in practise - will waist size become a required field in the online booking process?

The new measures will apply to passengers who book their tickets from 1st February for all flights from 1st April this year. 1st April? No, not it's not. There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Sky Marshall's household this morning. At least he won't look like Captain Bastard if he introduces a similar policy now, but he's missed his opportunity to outrage the world. Bah!



  • Beakster
    They should also get their luggage allowance reduced
  • CompactDistance
    Sky Commodore won't be introducing this, because if an XL passenger books two seats he doesn't get two sets of Check-In/Luggage/Card fees.
  • MrRobin
    One of the comments says that the fatties can be used as lifeboats incase of a crash. That sort of comment would never be published on an English blog or by the ever tollerant British public!
  • dados
    fuck them,fat shites should stay indoors,i was sat next to Jabba The Hut last year going to Lanzarote,fuckin stank of sweat & ate from take off to landing,minging cow
  • TheillegitimatesonofGunn
    I think more airlines should do this, criminally obese fatties like the porker in the photo could weigh down the plane as well as cause emergency exit related risks. They've only themselves to blame for the way they are, so I'm in full support of schemes like this.
  • TheillegitimatesonofGunn
    I also support using said fatties as lifeboats, give them a purpose in life.
  • David
    how about just putting in turnstiles like they have for rides. Come to think of it, turnstiles at mcdonalds as well.
  • Zleet
    Fatties couldn't normally fasten the seatbelt so in a crash would be a meat missile taking out the two rows ahead of them. Imagine going up too the pearly gates and having to tell you got killed by a flying fatty.
  • Nobby
    The easiest thing is to make narrower scanners at security. If you are too fat to fit through, you are too fat to fly. There is a serious issue if a fat person is in the seat next to you, or nearer to the exit than you, and there is an emergency. The real question, of course, is do they get an extra meal for their 75% second buttock fare?
  • Emma
    Maybe they'll get you to put in height and weight, and if you don't conform to the norm, you'd have to pay extra. Maybe they would even weigh you at the airport to see if you told the truth! I was on a helicopter ride in the Grand Canyon, had to state my weight on the phone booking, then they checked it when I arrived!
  • Health S.
    You have to wonder as to how the seat fastenings and belts are going to stand up to the G force if there is an emergency (Goes for cars as well!) Is the smaller person in danger of getting squashed? Do we need to start wearing personal air bags to protect ourselves!
  • TheillegitimatesonofGunn
    Screw paying extra, they should be refused to fly, or at the very least stored in the baggage hold!
  • Nobby
    Obese people get an extension for their seat belts. I was once sitting by an emergency exit, and the guy next to me was obese. He asked for an extension for his seat belt, and was told if he could not fit into the regular seat belt, then he had to move. So they moved the tub of lard out. Just as well, since he stank. Sweaty fat bastard. Why do they sweat so much? I guess it is part of their culture, innit.
  • TheillegitimatesonofGunn
    Probably because of all the excess fat they're packing, I'd imagine it's like wearing a really heavy jacket in the middle of a desert.
  • MayContainNuts
    I think they should let midgets fly half price, too, as long as they go into overhead baggage storage.
  • BobF
    As Nobby said, most real airlines offer extension belts, basically a few extra feet of belt with a buckle and clip - i think its what the crew use to demonstrate "this is how you fasten it thickos". Whilst shoehorning them into 1 or more seats seems to be the main focus, has anyone thought about seeing if they can fit out an emergency exit? Im sure the over wing ones are smaller doors than the main exits. "100s die in plane crash because fat bastard got stuck in exit".
  • Rob
    If you take up two seats you should pay for two seats.
  • Gunn
    My preference would be to arrive at airport and you stand on a large scales with your luggage and they charge/discount you off the average amount. It's not very fair that you have to pay £10-£20 per extra baggage kilo but you can weigh 10stone more than the next person and not pay a penny extra. In defence i think airlines/airplanes need to perhaps increase seat size, they are doing this to squeeze as many people in, perhaps there should be larger seats that bigger people can purchase at a premium.
  • BobF
    Theres still this idea that weight has everything to do with it. I mean, look at your average rugby player, theyre probably getting on for 18 to 20 stone, mostly muscle. Doesnt mean they require 2 seats. With airlines restricting, and charging, for excess baggage, perhaps it should be factored into the cost as well. Im sure Ryanair would make good use of it, "ah we see Sir is extra wide AND extra heavy, that will be £500 extra please". I find the seats to be acceptably wide, i just wish there was more leg room, nothing less fun than having your knees crushed because some bastard in front of you wants to recline.
  • TheillegitimatesonofGunn
    A good idea Papa Bear!
  • Me
    Steve, rerad this?
  • piggy
    About time, fat bloaters!
  • Nobby
    > In defence i think airlines/airplanes need to perhaps increase seat size, they are doing this to squeeze as many people in, perhaps there should be larger seats that bigger people can purchase at a premium. There are larger seats that people can purchase at a premium on some airlines like BA. Each time you upgrade you get a bigger seat / more room. However, fatties are not forced to use the upgrade. They can try to fit into a regular seat, and have their guts spill over into another persons space.
  • mick
    why dont the fat bloaters walk or swim where they need to go ? they should be banned . fat cunts ;-)
  • mick
    and another point how come the only airline with the balls to do this are the bloody cheese eating surrender monkeys ?
  • MrRobin
    Gunn: "perhaps there should be larger seats that bigger people can purchase at a premium." Isn't this called Premium Economy / Business Class / First Class? Emma: "I was on a helicopter ride in the Grand Canyon, had to state my weight on the phone booking, then they checked it when I arrived!" This is definitely required for safety reasons on small aircraft such as helicopters or even small prop planes. Any large loading imbalance, or worse, an overloading, of the aircraft could seriously jeapordise its stability.
  • Morph
    As an "ex" rugby player ..Waaay down the line now, (sob) & getting unfit due to sedentary lifestyle / kid ownership, I still don't have any sympathy for the super-fatties (i'm not small myself) who have audacity to purchase one seat then cram their copiously sweaty love handles into my personal space, luckily i've got the attitude to state that to both red faced staff & red faced fat bastard.. However do I pay for the seat & a certain amount of quantifiable space or just a seat, the staff have never made this clear when the fatty is huffing, sweating & rocking the entire row of seats into oblivion trying to sink fat into the recesses of both his & my seats, ..then sticks his obese ham hocks into my space whilst troughing down food. You feel somewhat obliged to make yourself smaller & not ask them to move inorder to stretch your legs, pee, avoid dvt etc, ..making a flight both uncomfortable & stressfull. Can i claim a refund/ ..can I fuck! (I am both "big-boned", broad shouldered & out of shape, my buckle still fits me, perhaps the government could make an ad regarding health using a fat tub of lard to ram the point home in terms of healthy lifeastyles) I'd wan't to kill myself (or at the very leasyt lose weight) if I ever became the type who takes the battery car through the airport & wheezes up the stairs to the plane on a runway... That clip of zombie chasing a fatty in the film zombieland ought to pudh the point home as part of a combination clip advert to get the notion to stop sugar guzzling, however it would be banned due to making fatties feel bad about themselves & have them comfort eating instead. It's correct to charge the fatties double, but you should also recompense the poor sod sitting next to the bastard too! lot's of extreme fatties on planes is why I tend not to go to fatties top holiday spots, eg florida & the carribean, though as the public eat more fat sodden macerated pre-chewed food & get more stupid by the day (thanks to governments) the selection of destinations is rapidly diminishing.. Go to Canada if you wan't to see brawny but fit people & a minimum of fat kids, ..they let em go ski-ing for 1/2 a day per week as part of their P.E. in the winter. (I don't recall seeing many super-fatties in the on mountain hotels / food outlets, so perhaps the answer is to build at altitude where the air is too thin for them)???
  • faty b.
    # Posted by dados | January 20th, 2010 at 11:10 am fuck them,fat shites should stay indoors,i was sat next to Jabba The Hut last year going to Lanzarote,fuckin stank of sweat & ate from take off to landing,minging cow Serves you right you Kunt for being one of those fucking chaves that go to shite holes like that
  • Air C.
    [...] Bitterwallet and other sources state that those who are unable to fit their portly frames into a single seat must now purchase a second seat minus 25% of the cost over and above the cost of the original seat, otherwise they will be refused transit. Air France does, however, state they will refund the cost of the seat if seats on the plane are not fully booked. [...]
  • Bagpuss
    How can it be fair that lasses going to Ibiza with nothing more than a g-string bikini tucked into a small hand bag with nothing else but a holiday sized box of Durex pay the same as some heifer with a marquee sized t-shirt folded into a large suitcase, liable to give the baggage handlers a hernia. The quality of holiday totty at Air France served destinations may well increase as a result of this. Viva la revolution!
  • zpider242
    Monarch charged me 50 fucking euros for being 10 kg overweight on my luggage allowance. Yet waiting by the gate, Mr and Mrs Bloater came along with 2 heavy looking hand baggage holdalls which probably contained their snacks for the 2 hour flight, the dirty fat smelly fuckers. There is no justice in this fucked up world.
  • Carl A.
    Hi, this is not my first time in your blog, but I really liked it. I do have some questions but I guess I'll save it for the next time. Keep up with the good job.
  • Marcus G.
    Appreciate the post. I know a little bit about the topic but am always glad to find out more information.

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