Finally, a solution to a wee problem men have had for decades

21 May 2009

Gents, unless you’re using some kind of system that involves suction and funnels, it’s pretty impossible to do a textbook wee without there being some kind of splashback from out of the lavatory pan. It’s an age-old inconvenience that men suffer from quietly, along with having to shave every day and being able to pack a dishwasher properly.

Of course, the reason for the splashback is the distance between the ‘weapon’ and the ‘target.’ But them days are over babycakes. For the second time in just a few hours, we head to Japan for sweet relief. Men, we bring you the Angel Lap Pillow (above). We don’t know why it’s called that but it is. Just accept it and we can all move on.

See how it works? You kneel on the pillow and the distance your flow has to travel is greatly reduced, thereby drastically cutting down on unnecessary and unwanted splashage. Okay, so you look like a complete imbecile while you’re doing it but you're comfortable knowing you’re not going to be wandering around with flecks of urine all over your strides for the rest of the day like some kind of stinking tramp.

The other alternative is unthinkable – peeing while sitting down, like a girly-girl. Although here’s Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David, explaining why he prefers the seated position. It’s educational you see…

[Tokyo Times via BuzzFeed]

TOPICS:   Travel

19 comments

  • Mycroft J.
    Just sit down.
  • Jeffrey
    That goes against man-ethics. You fraud.
  • u k.
    sit down then ya dirty bastard
  • Jeffrey
    See above post.
  • Steve
    I can see it now, come home drunk, kneel, vomit hard, fart....fart too hard, shart, you're in too easy a position to follow through on this thing. Gives a new touch to praying to the porcelain god though, you'd be kneeling and everything.
  • mustafa
    every1 pees sitting down, no?
  • Mrs s.
    my hubby tries to wee sitting down but his knob is far to long and dips in the pi$$y pan :( . homo erectus = evolution = man pi$$es standing. It's the future don't ya know :)
  • Rob
    Since when has pissing on the floor been a problem , I dont remember getting a memo ? (for men anyway ;) )
  • Song B.
    Just piss and aim at the sidewall of the bog
  • dude
    The secret it to aim down slightly just at the edge of the water. The natural "jerk up" with ensure it hits the back wall where you can then navigate it round the bowl ^^ Hell you dont even need to lift the seat up. Or you can do what I do and piss outside the back door over the flowers xD
  • pauski
    @ dude - conservation for the long hot summer - like it a lot. Got to miss the veg though.
  • goon
    why not just piss in the sink like a real man ?
  • tw@
    Just use the elevators like in every council flat in britain
  • Mike H.
    So which is it? Do I kneel and piss or do I piss in a teapot then pour it down the loo?
  • ctuk
    I must be ill, my piss has never been blue.
  • Tom P.
    Get one of these http://www.uvprocess.com/products%5CINK%20AND%20COATING%20HANDLING.B1.PAIL%20ACCESSORIES.PAIL%20ACC%5COFFSET%20STEM%20FUNNEL.PAIL%20ACC%20L%5CPAIL%20ACC%20L_J000021A_WebPic1.jpg , problem solved, if there was one in the first place.
  • Alan
    Do what I do and piss in the sink
  • Nobby
    I piss in a bucket outside and pour it on the compost bin. It saves water (only one flush a day for a dump) and all those nitrates. To save more water I am considering humanure ... http://weblife.org/humanure/default.html
  • Ten B.
    [...] Toiletry splashback eradicated with super-terrific Japanese kneeling gizmo. [...]

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