Don't turn your nose up at this gadget when it'll do it for you!

If there’s ONE thing that halts productivity here at Bitterwallet HQ, it’s the collective sadness that the entire editorial team (and make no mistake, it IS a team) suffer from thanks to nose droopiness. Yes, all of us.

If you ever see a spelling mistake in one of Paul’s pieces, it’s because his wayward hooter has strayed on to his keyboard and added some rogue letters. As for Mof, he never gets going until after lunch as he’s so busy wrapping rubber bands around his hooter as he attempts to stop his nostrils from falling out of his face altogether.

As ever, the Japanese boffins are ahead of the curve, defying science and gravity itself with this remarkable new contraption.


It's the Beauty Lift High Nose, which the blurb describes as "a beauty gadget that applies gentle electric vibrations from the bottom, side and front." The manufacturers add: "Just slip it on and turn on the switch on the front of the frame. While the supports hold your nose in place the buzzing will help shape your nose into just that little bit firmer and higher. All you need is three minutes once a day and you (and everyone else) will soon notice the difference!"

At around about £100, it sounds to us like a massive bargain and we're sure we'll soon be saying goodbye to droopy-nosed misery forever. What an enormous boon - and as you know, here at Bitterwallet, we're always on the look out for enormous boons...


  • mizzle
    will it fit on my cock?
  • The B.
    No, it's too big.
  • Phil
    @mizzle - It might help stop it dropping a bit!
  • hanna
    is this make my nose become smaller coz i have a big and low nose... :(

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