Don’t take uncharged devices on planes to the US

7 July 2014

iphone-charging-300x225 If you’re going to the US or returning back to Europe or the Middle East, make sure you take your charger.

Thanks to TERRORISM INC. and widespread panic, new security measures by the US Transportation Security Administration (TSA), uncharged phones and laptops will not be allowed on board.

The TSA are specifically targeting iPhones and Samsung Galaxies after new information that Al-Qaeda is developing new ways to blow up planes, using smartphones, tablets or laptops. (Never let it be said that Al-Qaeda are a Western world-obsessed one trick pony).

The Nusra Front - not to be confused with the People’s Front of Judea - are also plotting an airliner attack.

So, cue insanity at security. Shoes off, laptop charged, phone charged, anus scanned. (Well, not that – YET). If you can’t turn on your phone or laptop at security, you won’t be allowed to board with it. The TSA are keeping quiet about which airports will be involved in the additional scanning process, but it’s thought that Heathrow is one of them.

Anyway, the advice is, plug in before you fly, and don’t ask why. ('It’s not something to over-react to or overspeculate about' say the powers-that-be.) However, you can imagine there'll be a little bit of over-reaction when there are massive queues and hysteria and everyone misses their flight.

TOPICS:   Travel   Mobile   Privacy

5 comments

  • Richard
    my phone battery lasts approximately 47 seconds... am i still allowed to take it on the flight if, between security and the departure lounge, it dies :-P
  • Mark W.
    I await the next instalment, which might well be that Al Qaeda has created an app that uses NFC to reprogram your smartphone so it becomes a deadly BOMB, that's right, next time a Muslim looks at you funny in an airport, he's probably hacking into your phone and enabling Bomb Mode.
  • JonB
    Seems perfectly sensible to me. How will they be able to tell if your phone/tablet/PC is genuine or not if you can't show them it working? You could hide some pretty nasty stuff in the battery casing.
  • Mark F.
    ...or, just put things in your hold luggage. The restrictions only apply to hand luggage. Steve
  • Slacker
    Who wants to go to the US anyway?

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