Commercial Break: The Germans are coming for our chocolate!

19 January 2010

The world can never be the same again. According to news that we overheard on the bus this morning, the British-as-buns confectionary concern Cadbury’s has been bought out by German electronic soundscapioneers Kraftwerk.

Only one thing worries us. Whatever will become of the Cadbury’s Caramel bunny (phwooar, eh fellas?) Will the Germans rebrand her in lederhosen? Will the caramel itself be replaced with pulped sauerkraut? Will future ads be soundtracked by precision beats and Teutonic beeps?

What does it all mean? One thing’s for sure - Bitterwallet welcomes its new German billionaire chocolatier overlords…

TOPICS:   Travel


  • Andy D.
    The woman responsible for the voice of the Caramel bunny...
  • ElBuc
    Dawson you thief!
  • The B.
    "Bitterwallet welcomes its new German billionaire chocolateer overlords…" *Cough, Cough* Nope, he still doesn't read the Register.
    • Andy D.
      What are you on about Bob? It's from The Simpsons innit? Deep Space Homer? Ant invasion? Kent Brockman? Remember??
  • Ingo A.
    Will somebody please stop this man mental.
  • John S.
    Shanks here. I assume you mean 'chocolatier', as in somebody who makes chocolate rather, than 'chocolateer' which my wife informs me is something entirely different?
    • Andy D.
      Das spellenerror amended. Thanks Shanks. Thanks.
  • John S.
    Got your ass Dawson.
  • TheillegitimatesonofGunn
    Rather you than me John!
  • Nobby
    Shame it's not the Belgians.
  • Morph
    Based on German industry's "retreat across the water" of the past 14 months (the likes of Staedtler / Eberhard Faber) from it's very successful welsh operation, which has now moved again wrecking the supply chain across europe, the Germans seem to know the worst of recession is yet to come so seem to be padding themselves out in forms of closing operations elswhere & operating on home soil. ..Another form of Homeland Security from the Teutons? Crafty so & so's (in Eberhard Fabers case) Whilst the uk government will have stern words as to maintaining uk jobs (ha, right, maybe for a bung) ..the cadbury brand will be sold down wonka's chocolate river..
  • Mr G.
    I heard Cadbury were being taken over by Crufts...
  • wonky h.
    good, hope cadbury's go bust. Haven't you heard, chocolate is bad for you. You've not allowed to do anything that might cost the NHS money.
  • zeddy
    look where it all got you wonky henry. Mmmmm, Kraft chocolatey pasta. Certainly better than the dried "cheese" powder shit they currently put in the boxes.
  • Maude
    Calling Cadbury's "chocolatiers" is like calling Gordon Brown "a competent leader". It's a bit of a stretch.
  • Mr G.
    Ha ha! They're selling their chocolate factories!

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