Commercial Break: Happiness is egg-shaped

We’re not fluent in Japanese so it took some serious studying of this ad to figure out what it was all about. Perhaps it’s some kind of protective device to prevent damage to your car’s handbrake? Or could it be something a policeman could place over his truncheon in order to minimise injury when he’s dishing out a good hiding with it?

One quick trip to the product’s website later and all was revealed. It’s “the latest masturbation innovation from the geniuses at Tenga.” Egg-shaped for portability, it is “meant to enhance hand masturbation by providing a stimulating silicone layer while still letting you feel the warmth and contours of your hand.”

Without naming any names, a quick straw poll among the Bitterwallet team revealed that 100% of us would try one of these out without having to think twice about it. But we’re not sharing them around the office.

Hmm, now which one to choose… the Twister, Stepper, Spider or Clicker?


  • Amanda H.
    Thanks, but I'm "sticking" with Kinder Surpise, at least there's a snack and free toy left over for afterwards.
  • Jeffrey A.
    After you've finished with it Andy, please send it over my way. Ta.
  • Nobby
    They would be handy for keeping carrots in, so they do not get bruised.
  • Mike e.
    "hand masturbation" What other fucking ways are there? Thrashing one off with a spider would be a tad weird, and fuck knows what a clicker would do.
  • Doodaa
    You can get these at a British store, the best one in my opinion, although they only seem to have three of the designs.
  • Amanda H.
    This begs the question: If Daffy Duck Used these, would he be a paedophile?
  • Mike e.
    Amanda, don't be so stupid, Daffy doesn't have opposible thumbs!
  • lam
    10 bucks for a hand shandy - and I thought the best things in life were free
  • lam
    does say "Designed in Japan for single use"

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