All hail... the Ann Widdecombe cruise!

There’s nothing more relaxing than a cruise. But sometimes a cruise can perhaps be a little bit TOO relaxing. Perhaps what it needs is the introduction of a shrill-voiced Tory harpy virgin into proceedings.

If you’re in agreementance with that previous sentence, say hello to the ANN WIDDECOMBE CRUISE, from

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You’ve got eleven months to work yourself into a frenzy before you set sail on 15th October 2013, but once you do, you’ll be sailing up and down the Rhine, taking in locations such as Amsterdam, Dusseldorf, Strasbourg and Basel. One in the eye for anyone who thought Ann was anti-Europe!

There’s no mention of what the diabolical old crow will be doing on the cruise – maybe she’ll be teaching ballroom dancing following her excruciating Strictly stint. Or perhaps she’ll be loudly espousing her opposition to abortion and pro-death penalty views over some pulled pork.

It sounds wretched. We're desperate to be a part of it. We hate ourselves so much.


  • captain c.
    £349?? They'd have to pay me a LOT more than that to spend 8 days in her company!!! PS When is the "Feral Trolley of the Week" going to be renamed "Feral Trolley of the Decade"?? It has been unchanged for well over a year now.
  • zeddy
    And whose pork will she be pulling?
  • Sicknote
    I once got a blow job from Ann Widdecombe on the back seat of the bus from Staines to Feltham. I was not impressed with her technique and will not be taking up this offer.
  • LancerVancer
    @Sicknote Bloody hell, times must of been tough. Booked up!! I cant wait for my Ann Widdecruise! I'll be taking a big bag of weed anyway!!
  • Idi A.
    @ Sicknote Sorry man, that was me in fancy dress.
  • Haggis
    I've always found Anne Widdecombe to be a kind and gentle lover.
  • Regular n.
    "All hail......" Again..........
  • Bob
    Their original advert reads more like a warning to avoid that date, in red text, than an invitation to join in.

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