Your satnav will probably make you die

car crashClever people with nothing better to do with their day have been conducting experiments on people driving their motor cars while under the influence of a satnav. And guess what? The drivers performances was affected when listening to satnav-style directions! Thank GOD for the people of Lancaster University and Royal Holloway, University of London.

Volunteers were given tasks by a computer which mimicked the instructions given by a satnav... and the results were disturbing, obviously. They showed that people following complicated satnav instructions end up driving faster, with more erratic steering and less likely to notice pedestrians.

Dr Polly Dalton, who at least 90% of you thought was called Dolly Parton for a split-second, from the Department of Psychology at Royal Holloway, said: "What is interesting is that people were able to follow one simple instruction without any significant impact on their driving."

"But as soon as they had to remember a compound instruction, consisting of two sequential directions, we began to notice a difference in their driving ability. A lot of effort has gone into designing visually-friendly satnav devices but our research highlights the importance of the way in which the auditory instructions are given."

Dr Pragya Agarwal, from Lancaster University, said: "The results from our research have implications for the way these systems can be designed to be more effective and user-friendly in the future. With the increasing reliance on technology for navigation, it is important that such technology is designed so that it supports rather than detracts us from our primary task of driving."

This can only mean one thing - the robots are trying to make us kill each other.


  • The B.
    "The drivers performances was affected" Mof, is English your second or third language?
  • Follow l.
    I like to read an atlas while driving, that way I know I will not be distracted by the voice from a SatNav. Also it leaves me able to concentrate more on the game of I spy with the passengers, and the conversation with my bookie on the phone.
  • me
    @ The Real Bob LOL. Moff is indeed the worst of the bunch.

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