That's YOU told, Morrisons...

We can't disagree with a single word of this...


[found by avid Twitter user @death_stairs]


  • samuri
    if biscuits have certain ingredients in they can be called a biscuit but otherwise they are cookies.
  • Billy
    Can't stand arseholes who write open letters. Hope the fucker gets banned.
  • Numpty D.
    Can anyone else see the irony in Billy (no mates) comment above? Twot.
  • klingelton
    I thought it was to do with the cooking method. The word Biscuit comes from the french meaning twice cooked.
  • Billy
    Numpty Dumpty, I can't - do explain.
  • akay
    What are u on about Numpty Dumpty, also how do you conclude Billy has no mates from a random post?
  • Alexis
    I like that Morrisons put their juice next to the alcohol under a sign that says 'Mixers'. I'm not joking.
  • Noghar
    The letter writer should go back to making Westerns, stupid pedantic sod.
  • dvdj
    I'm pretty sure the juice is also next to the milk etc. It's quite common for supermarkets to dual merchandise products. You'll also find Coke under "mixers" but it's also in the soft drink aisle. If you're going in for a alcohol run then it's pretty handy as you don't need to go finding the mixers...
  • oliverreed
    So whilst looking for biscuits the thick cunt ignored the cookie isle
  • Alexis
    Nope, took me ages to find them in Eccles. All juice and soft drinks are opposite the vodkas and gins and nowhere else in the store. This is Salford we're talking about!
  • bob
    Cookies are so much nicer than biscuits. Only old people like biscuits, and quality street chocs.
  • chris
    someone has far too much time on their hands. Jeez.
  • jjames
    dozy old twunt - go to the biscuit/cookie aisle and work your way up and down it (using your eyes) like the fucking rest of us ... An open letter to John Ford - Ex Wycome Wanderer.
  • Robin
    Pity that Mr Ford appears to be ex-directory, or else we could have called him to tell him our views.
  • heywood j.
    Who the hell "frantically" searches for hobnobs ? I can just imagine the twat recounting the shopping list to himself and taking "delight" in finding each item. The panic of not finding the biscuits was obviously a worrying time, and I'm sure we all understand his plight. I just walk in with my trolley, fill it till it can't take anymore and then pay. I don't even check the receipt, as I have a life, which includes giving valuable opinions on bulletin boards/forums.
  • Jim W.
    @ Noghar To be an even more stupid pedantic old sod, didn't Mr John Ford die in 1983 ? Is this letter the proof of life after death ?
  • zeddy
    @bob: I'm not particularly old and I like biscuits. I also have no life: It's a fucking wonderland...
  • Mike H.
    They missed a bit at the bottom, 'sent from my iPhone' what a cunt.
  • Mark W.
    I suggest that 'after searching the overhead signs' he would in fact have found the aisle with the overhead sign that says something like BISCUITS fairly easily and narrowed things down. I am pretty sure that Chocolate Hobnobs would be somewhere in that locale and not on some random shelf only found by 'frantically searching'. (Oh, here they are, in between Frozen Ready Meals and Ice Cream, who'd have thought it?) I doubt this was his first ever visit to Morrisons to do his 'weekly shop', nor was it his first ever attempt to locate Chocolate Hobnobs in a supermarket. But not, probably, his first or last letter to the local paper. Keep at it, P G Wodehouse!
  • DIng D.
    Why not stop someone in a Morrison's uniform & ask? or did you forget that during your frantic search? I bet he's the same guy who moans in the post office when there's a big queue. Don't go in during the lunch period!!!!
  • Office G.
    I hate it when I get my period during lunch. I never go out into town then. Chocolate Hobnobs do help though.
  • =D
    Was asking a member of staff to hard for this guy?
  • MisterD
    Are Bitterwallet readers really this thick? The letter was a tongue in cheek stab at the Americanisation of our language. Has the thought that the scenario outlined in the letter was entirely fictional to demonstrate the writers POV not crossed their minds? As for Billy writing an open letter on Bitterwallet complaining about those people that write open letters....well...perhaps BW readers are that thick.
  • iscom
    I came across this website by error started to read some of the postings and after reading about Morrisons and the Biscuits, a similar problem happened to me when looking for rice cakes, but my reason for writing was the language used by some, namely "Billy" "jjames & "Mike Hock" such use of words does nothing to enhance this website
  • Risa
    *If* this is real, then it enrages me that they could look at all the signs and not see 'Cookies' and think oh that's where the hobnobs will be.. but a lot of people are actually this backwards so it could be real which is the very sad thing.
  • Mr L.
    But wait, there's more... "A FURTHER open letter to Morrisons, High Wycombe, from a reader who had difficulty locating chocolate Hobnobs – due to the store using the American expression ‘cookies’ for the sign in its biscuits section. TO date I haven’t received a reply to my letter of 11th November. I was clearly more than somewhat puzzled by the signage in your store at that time, which seemingly used a foreign dialect of the English language to describe biscuits as ‘cookies’. I returned to your supermarket on Saturday, this due to the fact that my packet of chocolate Hobnobs was close to depletion. Upon entry, I noted the store improvements including the re-arrangements of goods locations. Judging on my past experience I elected to avoid confusion by disregarding the overhead signs. As such, I ambled around the store and located the required biscuits without assistance. For no particular reason, I glanced upwards at the overhead sign and…. Lo ! A feeling of utter glee swept over me as I my eyes were met with the beautiful vision of the sign in Aisle 19, which stated not only ‘Biscuits’, but also ‘Chocolate Biscuits’. This has restored my faith in Morrisons’ contribution to the preservation of the quintessential British society." What a cunt-filled cesspit I live in...
  • Mark D.
    Ford , shut it and go watch a movie !
  • Mark D.
    ..furthermore, reading Bitterwallet has left me with a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth. So many twuntards missing the point of your letter Mr Ford . Maybe a complaint to Pizza Hut is in order ?
  • John F.
    Thank you all for your comments. The only one that actually had sufficient intellgience to understand why I wrote the letter is MisterD.

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