Text your washing machine and log your life
The Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas is a cavalcade of useful, unsettling and just plain loopy new technologies. If you’ve always wanted to have a nice conversation with your washing machine, for example, then look no further than LG’s latest model. You can text it to see how it’s doing when you’re out, and it’ll send you a message back - probably something along the lines of ‘leaking, lol!!1111’ or ‘Mid cycle – please buy me some chocolate.’
There’s also a vacuum cleaner which will tell you a history of its activity, because, my GOD we all want to know what the hoover was doing all day. (‘Life sucks.’) And, more spookily, technology is being developed that can sense our moods – through our TVs – so it knows whether we want to watch Die Hard or cry at Beaches.
Wearables are also apparently a big thing at CES 2014, with wristbands enjoying a resurgence not seen since the 80s. Fancy quantifying yourself with a life logging wristband? Forget lying to your MyFitness app about how many Mr Kipling iced fancies you’ve eaten. Sony have unveiled a wristband and app called ‘Lifelog’ (inane giggle), which doesn’t just tell you how many calories you’ve burned – it knows WHO YOU ARE.
Lifelog comes with a 'Smart band' which links to an app that stores loads of data about you, from how many Facebook notifications you have to how many songs you’ve listened to, and how long you sleep. Do you care? No. But Sony thinks you do. They’ve even added a ‘life bookmark’ button to the wristband so you can press it when you have a ‘special moment.’ ‘Darling, will you marry me?’ ‘Yes, let me just add it to my Lifelog timeline.’
Think I'd rather sext the washing machine.