Talk Talk try and topple Mandelson's Digital Britain with tune-free song

In recent months, Talk Talk have been vocal opponents to the government’s proposed Digital Britain Bill and its plans to introduce a ‘three strikes’ attack against repeat illegal downloaders.

They became so enraged that a competition was launched, with the remit of finding the best artistic attack against the government and in particular Lord Mandelson, the mandroid behind the ridiculous new law-to-be.

Sadly, the winner was a song (below), ‘Only Idiots Assume’ by comedians Liam Mullone and Hils Barker, better known as The Broken Dongles. By any stretch of the imagination it is elbow-chewingly awful, the kind of thing that the Sex Pistols might have trod in while scarpering from one record company to another back in 1977. Imagine if Chumbawamba had never given up the day jobs – that’s how wretched it is. Listen for yourself...

They got three grand for that! Three grand! For a song that opens with the lines "I own the works of Nietzsche; you might assume that I'm a racist!" We're not a gang of Stephen Sondheims here but it's hardly "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you" now is it?

One of the judges, Stephen Fry (proving that he definitely doesn't know everything,) says: ‘I am insanely in love with Only Idiots Assume. It's got the anger, the wit, the musical skill - all in a wonderful package that reminds me of the high days of my youth when punk roamed the land and the young were angry and funny and spunky and spiky.’

Co-writer Mullone said the song was “a ska-punk reply to Peter Mandelson.” Hmm, we’ve put some actual ska below for you to use as a reference point against the aimless, tuneless dirge above. Jesus, the ‘winning’ song has got us so wound up that we almost want the Digital Britain Bill to be passed as law NOW, unopposed and with a ‘one strike’ clause welded on to it.

Could they not have just hurled some green custard at Mandelson instead? Gah!



  • The B.
    "Imagine if Chumbawamba had never given up the day jobs" Really? You think that bunch of self important crusties have ever worked a day in their lives? Danbert Nob-acorn is so public school it hurts.
  • The B.
    By the way, that chap in the middle of the Ethiopians looks like a Wayans.
  • -]
    Yeah, all those public schools they have up here, serving the working class - allowing miners and other manual workers to send their kids... gi' your head a wobble lad.

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