Some gits invent talking cigarette packets
Ever been minding your own bloody business, as an adult, indulging in things that you know are really bad for you, but safe in the knowledge that you're not harming anyone else and frankly, it's up to you what you pissing do?
Well, smokers will be thrilled to learn that some berks have come up with a new type of cigarette packaging which talks to you, moaning at you to stop smoking.
Stirling University has been testing the chatter boxes with two pre-recorded messages that utilise the similar technology that is found in those irritating birthday cards.
One box offers advice to quit and the other informs that smoking can reduce fertility.
Chief executive of ASH (Action on Smoking and Health) Scotland Sheila Duffy said: "The tobacco industry buys a great deal of creative expertise to market its addictive and lethal products to new consumers, mainly young people. I welcome the suggestion that we get more creative to put forward images of good health and freedom from addiction as alternatives to tobacco, and that we start requiring tobacco companies to present the truth to their consumers in more eye-catching ways."
Will this get opened up and developed in such a way that pasties scream in agony when you take a bite from them? Will we see bottles of pop that sound like a dentist's drill every time you take a swig? Will cans of spesh recreate the sound of a bloke knocking the crap out of his wife?