Smart mattress to grass on cheating partner
Well, if you're particularly paranoid or can't face accusing your spouse and the resultant difficult conversations, you might want to consider coughing up £1,220 for a smart-mattress, that will dish the dirt on your other half and their wandering eye.
This is the brainchild of a Spanish company called Durmet, who have made the 'Smarttress', which basically has something built into it called - get this - the "Lover Detection System".
That means, "whenever someone is using your bed in a questionable way," it'll send some alerts to your smartphone. The system utilises 24 sensors to detect whenever your mattress starts rocking, and whoosh, your Android or iOS phone will be the first to know.
And here's a video of it.
Of course, you might have someone who likes jumping around on the bed while listening to their favourite Madonna hits, or indeed, your partner might be bored of you humping them in bed, so they might be doing it on every other available surface.
Might be cheaper to just talk to them or set a bear-trap* under the duvet when you're away from home.
[*Bitterwallet accepts no responsibility for anyone paranoid and psychopathic enough to actually set a bear-trap or any other maiming device in their bed]