Orange invent stupid t-shirt that charges your mobile while you get dysentery at Glastonbury
Orange are going to be conducting an experiment on the revellers of the Glastonbury festival. Sadly, the rain-soaked dunderheads who attend this tawdry excuse for an event won't be getting tortured in the name of researching the limits of human pain, but rather, they'll be able to charge their mobiles with their clothes.
Prototype t-shirts will use vibrations from hideous music, which could be puking from the main stage or, more likely, thundering out of a PA on top of a chip-van. It is called noise-responsive technology and it is promising to give you a quick top-up charge AND make you look like an idiot. No worse than the pungent crusties in jester hats.
Orange, who usually get into the festival spirit every year with various publicity stunts, will be conducting live testing and seeing which acts provide the best charge, mainly around the oddly named Spirit of 71 stage.
Tony Andrews, co-producer of the Spirit of 71, says:
"It could provide a real solution to mobile phone charging. Sound vibrations, particularly bass frequencies, will create enough shaking to produce electricity from a material as simple as piezoelectric film."
Yes. That's right. A simple piezoelectric film. The simplest film of them all, obviously. Not including Dude Where's My Car?
Of course, if you're going to Glastonbury, you won't be wanting your phone on as you will be organising to meet all your mates by the mixing desk of your chosen stage and spending the rest of your time vomiting after consuming handfuls of dodgy legal-highs from various stinking stalls run by middle-class drop-outs in hemp slacks.