Obligatory Apple Smartwatch article

10 March 2015

Apple, as you'll know, have announced things about their smartwatch. By law, we're obliged to write about it or someone will kick down our door and thrash us to within an inch of our lives.

So, if you're interested in the new Apple device and want to start queueing up right now, here's what you need to know:

apple watch

- It'll cost you $349 for the smaller one. $399 for the larger one.
- It'll be available to pre-order in Europe and America on April 10th and you'll be able to buy it from April 24th.
- There's a solid gold one and which will cost you loads of money. If you need to ask 'how much?' then you're not wealthy enough to buy one.
- The phone will be like a second screen for your iPhone, which means you can leave your phone in your pocket if you like.
- You'll be able to control your settings and that via a dedicated iPhone app.
- There'll be loads of voice controlled stuff.
- The watch will log the rate of your heart and an accelerometer which will track how active you are.
- Apple CEO Tim Cook says: "In addition to being a beautiful object, the Apple watch is the most advanced timepiece ever created; it’s a revolutionary way to connect to others; and it’s a comprehensive health and fitness companion. We make products that enhance people’s lives, and the Apple Watch carries that to a new level. [It] tracks your daily movement, and it even reminds you if you’ve been sitting too long. It’s like having a coach on your wrist."
- The phone's battery will last for 18 hours of typical use.

If you need to know anything else, then surely you know how the internet works so you can salivate over every single minuscule detail of Apple's new smartwatch

TOPICS:   Technology   Gadgets


  • Father J.
    *Cue nobheads everywhere queueing up to spunk their cash on the latest Must Have piece of overpriced sweatshop shite curled out by Apple*
  • Han S.
    "The phone’s battery will last for 18 hours of typical use" - WTF?!
  • jim
    a watch that runs out of battery after 18 hours... handy??
  • AG
    That's the computery part of the watch - allegedly it still works as a watch for another 72 hours after the main battery runs out.
  • Father J.
    And, naturally, the battery will be hard-wired in so that you have to bin the whole thing when it turns it's toes up in 18 months time. I actually think it's a brilliant innovation - an Apple device that's worn in plain sight makes it far easier to establish who is a wanker without actually having to waste time talking to them.
  • Shiftynifty
    I will be getting my fingers on one
  • Ginger B.
    Father Jack seems to hate too much - maybe he secretly loves Apple
  • Father J.
    Yes, Ginger, pointing out the obvious shortcomings of Apple's latest piece of in-built-obsolescent tat obviously makes me a closet fanboi... Based on the quality of your reasoning I reckon you'll be selling your organs to buy the fifteen grand version of this must-have device.
  • Shifytniftysshadow
    And I will be getting me hands on shiftyniftys watch
  • D7LLU
    Praise the Lord! Apple have just invented the "watch". Casio and Timex, you have been warned. Apple will be suing your arses!
  • Jack M.
    Just in case you all missed it... burried in the small print... Continuious phone use batt life is only 3 hours Music playback only 6.5 hours Lets see the fanbois defend that one....
  • Han S.
    Apparently the battery only lasts three hours if you use it as a phone. Wow how useful!
  • Jack M.
    ^^^^^ Yep correct ^^^^^^ See my post above ^^^^^^^^ Cue the Self denial of apple lovers who think spending £300. for a device with shite battery life is ok
  • Jessie J.
    The term "utter shite" applies here.
  • George C.

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