New PC made to milk pensioners... and help them of course
Old people weep over technology. Their tears blow the fuses and then they listlessly prod buttons until they get a six year old to come and fix it for them. That's the unrelenting world of 2009.
To save our geriatrics from becoming as useless as Shed Seven, a new computer has been unveiled which aims to help them get online. This presumably will lead them to a whole new world of shopping, holiday bookings and niche adult films.
Basically, the PC, called SimplicITy, is a simplified desktop that has just six buttons directing users to basic tasks such as e-mail and chat. To help them further, it comes pre-loaded with 17 video tutorials from television presenter Valerie Singleton. Each of these PCs are made-to-order and sadly, take a whole fortnight from request to delivery. Two weeks of an old person's life are like dog years and... well... you can see where I'm going with that morbid thought process.
The SimplicITy computer has no log-in screen at start-up and contains no drop-down menus. It opens straight to a front page called 'square one' containing separate clickable buttons for e-mail, browsing the web, files, online chat and a user profile.
Andrew Harrop, head of public policy for charity Age Concern and Help the Aged said efforts to get older people online should be "applauded".
"Pensioners who aren't online are missing out on hundreds of pounds in potential savings by shopping around and can also often miss out on the best interest rates for savings accounts, not to mention the social benefits of being online," he said.
Or maybe they'll just end up being used in sneaky PR campaigns like Ivy Bean, 'the oldest Tweeter in town' if they're lucky... pawing at a screen, peering through milky cataracts...