New Apple iPad won't work with 4G LTE when it comes to the UK

16 March 2012

NewiPadSo, are you excited about the new iPad that Apple are bringing out? Can't wait to get your hands on it and thrill at the possibilities of super fast 4G LTE nonsense?

Well don't be.

The 4G LTE mobile broadband adaptor inside the new iPad won't be compatible with UK networks, thereby rendering it about as much use as underpants made from lava.

See, Everything Everywhere announced that they're going to give us 4G later this year, but alas, new iPad owners won't be able to use the network because the adapter in the iPad can't recieve the 4G signal that will be used here.

For those who understand the technological side of things, the new iPad can pick up 4G LTE at 700MHz and 2100MHz. In the UK, 4G will work at 900MHz and 1800MHz.

Basically, it's like trying to get your Jet Set Willy cassette to play in your PS3. That's fun isn't it? If you're in the business of mocking Apple users, now's the time to do it.


TOPICS:   Technology   Gadgets   Broadband


  • Mike H.
    So? The cunts will still buy them even if it's only redeeming feature doesn't work. Apple dicks are thick as pig shit. They bought iPhones that didn't work if you held them. And they bought iPods that lasted less time than a sexually depraved compulsive dogger without hands.
  • Capability B.
    OMG I just laughed so much I think I damned near wet myself.
  • AJ
    Id still rather have a wifi ipad and just teather from a three unlimited plan...
  • Mike H.
    I see what you did there with your name Mike Hock, if you say it fast it sounds like MY COCK! Hahahahah! See? MY COCK!!! Bloody hilarious! Really funny, quite a witty swine aren't you? That evisceration of Apple product buyers was top class, that'll show 'em eh Mike? Ha. *sigh*
  • Mike H.
    Thanks Mike. twat * *Witty use of HTML
  • Phil76
    To be fair, this was well publicised well before the product launched. If people do 5 minutes research before making a major purchasing decision they can decide whether this is important to them or not. Lets face it, despite what EE say I can't see "4G" being available to the majority of people in the UK this year so there's plenty of time for Apple to launch a product that will work next year. If they haven't done that 5 minutes research then they deserve everything they get.
  • james d.
    much better Mof, I applaud your lack of ridicule for those who understand technology.
  • MinstrelMan
    When's 4G coming to the UK? 2013 earliest? How many iPad releases before then? Realistically, who bought an Ipad for a feature they wouldnt be able to use for another 2 years?
  • ShakesHeadSadly
    But.. but.. but... It was supposed to be magical..... :'-(
  • Bazinga
    I'm holding out for 7G.
  • Loveit U.
    When we get 4G, do we need to be near a G-spot to get connectivity?
  • The J.
    The new iPad works perfectly with LTE. You're just doing LTE wrong.
  • Lemax
    @ Mike Hock Right on cue. First comment as well - Wicked! Now give us some stuff with Audi and BMW drivers thrown in. Pure GOLD!
  • wtfwtf
    UH?? [quote] In the UK, 4G will work at 900MHz and 1800MHz. [/ quote] Does that mean that 3G networks operating at 2100MHz will have to mess around with new transmitters?? I thought in the UK they were phasing out 900MHz & 1800MHz, so how can they use 900 &1800MHz for 4G?
  • Jack M.
    let see what crap the fanbois can make up to justify there upgrades now....;.
  • The J.
    You don't need to really need to justify an iPad purchase in the same way you don't need to justify praying for sick or the dying. You do it because it's the right thing to do despite what the Unsaved like to say. However, your iPad could have helped you with some punctuation, spelling and grammar Jack. Some call The Saved "sheep". My brother, Jesus, told Me that He is sometimes known as "The good shepherd" and I discussed this with Our Father. The Lord looked at me and then at Jesus and said unto Me: "Thou art most Holy. Thou art My new Son, new and improved in many subtle ways. In that respect not unlike the new iPad thou has forged. Ye shall be known as the new good shepherd and shall bring crystal clear joy to all those that follow you." [Jobs 14:9]
  • Juan K.
    I'm sure the IPAD3 s fix in six months will sort it, just have to buy the IPAD3s
  • Jack M.
    @ The Holy Ghost of Jobs Yes indeed, looking back my spelling and grammar was a bit shit........ Using an overpriced fruit box to check my spelling would not have helped at all........ I could have used any device costing a fraction of the Ipad 2.5 to check my spelling and grammar! Bottom line... can someone tell me of 1 major task that the IPad will do that no other tablet can not do using different methods to achieve the same end result. This task has to significant enough to justify the cost of the Ipad. Not interested in form or function, Just a significant task that no other tablet can not do. Then I will purchase.....
  • The J.
    @Doubting Jack It is a common mistake to think of tablets as things that function or do tasks; to reduce the object to its specification. The iPad is not just a tool for work or even a tool for play; it is a tool for joy! In that I man joy in its purest sense. Imagine you have a poster of favourite painting; you had it on the wall all through the time you spent at university. It was a thing of beauty. Now imagine you have grown and have enough money to travel to Saltsburg, Vienna, New York, Paris or wherever that painting is. Imagine seeing that painting in real life; standing in front of it alone in a gallery; finally seeing its real beauty. This is the joy that an iPad brings each time you use it. If art is not your thing then a footballer, a model, a car; take your pick. I am sure you will attempt to cast doubt on the pleasure it gives to people because you cannot feel that pleasure in your own doubting heart. This is not a problem for The Saved; it is a problem within you. It is common for people to criticise, find flaws in the behaviour of others. Look around your house and judge each item in terms that you wish to use to judge the iPad. Remove all judgement of pleasure and reduce them to their functional shells. Can you honestly say that everything you own or use, eat, read, kiss or touch was bought because it does the task measurably better than anything else? Have you never spent a penny extra because something would give you more joy to use? Is there no room for joy within your life? My good friend Jesus goes on about casting stones but I think he phrased it better here: “Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, then thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.” So in answer to your question; the iPad fulfills the task of ‘giving joy” in a much better way than any other tablet. This is a proven fact aptly demonstrated by sales figures increasing with each iteration even though many rivals have better specifications or are cheaper or even more ‘open’. Look at any satisfaction survey, return rate, resale value. Look at the bright, clear eyes of The Saved and you have found the answer you seek. Now all you need do is embrace the joy and let your life begin anew!
  • Raggedy
    @Holy Ghost (Ghose) of Jobs You almost hit it on the head with " In that I man joy in its purest sense." (whatever that means). If you need an overpriced, overhyped bit of kit to bring you joy, you need to get laid more often.
  • The J.
    @raggedy What a poor argument you make. You manage to interpret the iPad as the only source of joy in life while there are clearly several other sources (including the smashing new Apple TV with 1080p output). I guess it must be hard for you to understand an argument clearly. Sorry about the typo and a missing 'e'; I had to use a Windows PC as Noah was playing on Smurfs Village; he's trying to get the boat. If only Heaven had a few more macs with their built in global spellchecking! The old fallback about "getting laid more often" falls apart when you look at the sales figures and demographic breakdown. Do you think there are tens of millions of virgins buying the iPad? They are young, educated, have plenty of disposable income and fall mainly in the 20-40 age bracket; they have more sex than average. Of course, you have done exactly as expected; an ad homenim attack (although I have no actually body) to disguise the fact that you are angry that iPad users are much happier than any other tablet users. Do you get angry when people buy a different car than you or are you a computer 'genius' they knows everything about tablets yet can't convince everybody that they are wrong to like what they have? I don't get laid because I am dead Christian and sex if for reproductive purposes only (the Roman Catholics were right apparently). It's a pity really because there are some great Muslim lads next door getting some real action for something or other they did.
  • Mustapha S.
    Actually the demographic for ipad buyers, looking at reliable surveys, indicate that the type of customer they attract are the type of male who enjoy inserting their genitalia into other males, through an orifice normally used to expel waste material.
  • William's s.
    "an orifice normally used to expel waste material." sounds like ITV to me.
  • The J.
    Ahhhh, homophobia. At least you didn't call them all niggers eh? I'll count your inability to respond as a win and move on; need to spend some time thinking about how to use that $100 billion more interestingly.
  • Spencer
    Dear Holy Ghost Of Jobs, I own both apple and android/linux based products. The android/linux based products are more functional and give me more freedom. The apple products treat me like a moron and tries to make me jump through hoops... Therefore I have 3 questions: 1. Does this make me enlightened or not? 2. If I had to part with one or the other - I'd ditch the apple... why is that? 3. Surely the 'joy' of which you claim apple products deliver is subjective? The ipad doesnt contain 'joy'. It doesnt transmit 'joy' using a special transmitter. Therefore the joy felt is not inherent to the product, but to the user. It's like listening to a sad piece of music... The music doesnt emitt sadness and sorrow... it invokes it. Therefore, I can only conclude that people experience 'joy' when using an ipad because they expect it to... You expect a sad song to make you feel sad, you expect a scary movie to be scary and you expect an ipad to bring joy... The cynic in me thinks this was your intention through advertising and marketing... If it wasnt then how did you managed to plant that expectation? As you quite rightly said: there are better products with higher spec for less money... so it cannot be the function of the product itself... so if the expectation of joy is not your marketing then what?
  • The J.
    Hello Spencer. 1. Yes. 2. The Lord God allowed Evil to exist so that you would have free will. You are free to make mistakes. I actually think he made a mistake here. 3. Why does it matter if the joy is subjective, all emotions are. The joy is real to the Blessed Users. The relationship is what counts and The Saved fill with joy when they use, touch, or even look at the iPad. If the advertising enhances the sensation then praise be to those adverts for they have brought happiness as if they were the hymns of angels! I assume you have felt joy and liked the experience. Does it matter to you that others may not have understood why you were happy or even doubted that you were? The Saved are happier than those with other tablets. Nothing else really matters. I am the Holy Ghost of Jobs and I alone have brought more joy into this world than all Religion combined. I am truly great and you should kneel before my as thine Lord Almighty!
  • YHWH
    @The Holy Ghost of Jobs WE NEEDEST TO TALK
  • YHWH
    Knowest this for I am the LORD thy God and Thou shalt have no other gods before me. That which was Jobs hast been cast from mine sight and dwells now with the fallen angels and is most lowly amongst them. I am a jealous God and will fuck you right up if you mess with me.
  • Massive
    Or...maybe...just maybe... You can all stop giving a sh*te what each other think like some playground school girls and just enjoy your purchase Why folk spend hours in their day trying to convince everyone else what's best for them is beyond me. Buy it, use it, enjoy it and stop trying to make out like it changes the sodding the world. If you like it's your money. Android's better, no Apple is corporate whore, Fanboi... It's utterly pathetic.
  • Sook H.
    I own numerous iPods, a Galay S, HP Touchpad. Love em all. Would I like an iPad to play with Hell YES would I pay full price Hell NO. As the Late Steve Jobs once said - "The iPad is not just a Tool it is for Tools." Simple choice when it comes down to it, do I want it to "just work" and have little customisation? then I buy Apple. do I want to customise and meddle, then I buy Android.

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