More festival lunacy – this time, musical wellies
Idiots going to festivals this year are spoilt for choice for ways to make their experience even more annoying for the people around them. If don’t think you’re being irritating enough by throwing bottles of piss into the crowd or playing Wonderwall on your acoustic guitar at 3 am, then buy these – wellies with a built in sound system. Yes, you can make people want to kill you using only your feet!
‘Bloom boots’ - which were created by online music service bloom.fm - connect to any Bluetooth enabled device to play your awful music wirelessly. There’s a waterproof pocket inside to keep your phone dry. Basically it’s a pathetic little rechargeable speaker glued onto a boot and attached to your phone with a USB cable. But they’re wacky! They’re yellow! When you wear them, people will say: ‘You’re mad, you are. No one would ever think you’re a tedious pillock who works for an insurance company.’
Anyway, can get them from Firebox for £60, and true morons can team them with the Vodaphone mobile phone arse pocket charger, and the rechargeable sleeping bag – oh, and a tent in the shape of a giant cock.
In a press release Bloom.fm CEO Oleg Fomenko said: “Music fans love festivals and certainly aren’t scared of a bit of rain and mud. But with a pair of Bloom Boots they can make sure the music never stops and keep their phone and feet dry in style.’
To paraphrase Nancy Sinatra, these boots were made for wankers.