Microsoft to make Smart Bra because they're having a nervous breakdown, presumably
Technology firms have lost their minds. First, Sony announced they were looking at making a SmartWig, and now Microsoft are taking time out from ballsing everything up with the new Xbox to make a SmartBra.
Researchers have made a prototype smart bra that is capable of detecting the wearer's mood, because obviously, women can't detect their own mood, so need some underwear that can do it for them.
This thunderously pointless accessory will use removable sensors to monitor the user's heart and skin activity and send mood data to a smartphone app. A woman's partner should surely have a companion app called Are They In The Mood Yet?
Microsoft do think that this has a use, such as helping to tackle stress, so women don't indulge in 'emotional eating'. Microsoft there, nudging everyone and saying "Women eh? What are they like?" A gyroscope and accelerometer are embedded in the boob holder while an electrocardiogram and electro-dermal activity sensors are used to collate data from the skin and heart.
Apparently, Microsoft researchers tried something similar for men, but it didn't work out as well in tests because underpants are so far away from the heart (but right next to a man's brains, some will cry). Until these bras are on-sale, we'll just have to use the tried and tested method of seeing what mood someone is in, which basically means waiting for them to come home from work and counting how much wine they put away while complaining.