Man faces jail for stealing imaginary objects


Some crafty sod or, if you prefer, a computer hacker has admitted stealing $12 milion worth of poker chips from Zynga, which is one of those social networking online gambling site things.

Ashley Mitchell of Paignton made-off with the completely imaginary 400 billion chips and put them into his account. Then, he sold the things that don't really exist on the black market which could have pocketed him £184,000 on top of the £53,000 he'd already made when he was arrested.

Making money on conceptual things. Brilliant. Going to prison for imaginary poker chips. Crap.

Judge Wassell said he faced a hefty jail term for these offences as, in this case, UK courts are treating these virtual goods as the same as actual, real life products. Perhaps he should be made to serve his sentence in an imaginary jail with virtual inmates ganging up on him in an assumed potting shed, with their fictional cocks in their make-believe hands.

Prosectutor Gareth Evans said that Zynga had not been deprived of goods in the same way as normal fraud because they could always issue more, but there was a knock-on effect as they could lose legitimate gamers. So, if you ask him, it is the same as stealing from the Royal Mint.



  • Codify
    They are not imaginary, or merely conceptual. They are a store of wealth, with a sale and resale value, same as any other. The virtual poker chips are as much "real life products" as the pieces of paper with numbers written on them that we use for money, or the electrons on a computer network that tell us arbitrarily how much money we have in our account.
  • Brad
    "What you in for ?" "I got in a fight in a pub" "What about you?" "Armed robbery" "and you?" "Stole some poker chips off Facebook......"
  • andy y.
    just another tetley
  • Zleet
    Stealing conceptual objects? Doesn't that make it like a really shit version of Inception?
  • Marky M.
    Or Total Recall.
  • Mark C.
    What's a 'Prosectutor'?
  • bogbrush
    @mark c It's a person who teaches an appreciation of Italian fizzy wine.
  • Man B.
    [...] the man who got accused of stealing conceptual things? The conceptual things in question were virtual Zynga Poker chips worth £7.4 million. That’s [...]

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